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good
because they’re probably exactly like her.”
    He furrowed his brow and took a deep breath. “I’m
sorry, I don’t understand. ‘Exactly like her’?”
    “Look, Dr. Harrison, what’s the big deal? I need a
doctor. You’re a doctor. Shouldn’t I get to pick who I want to see?”
    He appeared unfazed by the change in my demeanor. “That
makes sense and is true to a point. The problem is that…I’m not taking on any
new patients at this point.”
    “Oh. I see.” I couldn’t cover my unexpected
disappointment.
    “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”
    I held my hand up. “I’m not upset.”
    “If you’d like me to take a look at the list, maybe I
can provide some insight.”
    “I appreciate that.” In my mind, I’d already ripped up
the list and tossed it. “How about a waiting list?”
    He chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t really work
like that.” He pulled out his wallet, flipped it open, and dug into one of the
pockets. “Here’s my card. It has my email and number on it. You can message the
list to me, and I’ll take a look.”
    I stood, taking the card from his hand as my mouth
pulled into a tight line. A sense of irrational rejection washed over me. Dr.
Harrison had just sealed my fate. “Thank you for your time, Doctor.”
    He stood awkwardly; his hands landing on his hips,
making his broad shoulders seem wider. “Good luck to you, Gray. Take care.”
    It appeared Superman wasn’t going to come to my
rescue. I left the café, and before I exited the hospital, I pulled the
referral list from my purse and let it fall into the trash.
     

CHAPTER 5
    --------------------------
     
     
    Somewhere near midnight, an obnoxious pounding roused me from my sleep.
I clicked off the television I’d fallen asleep to minutes earlier. My feet hit
the floor at the same time the realization of who was at my door hit me, simply
by the nature of the knock. Disappointment filled my heart when it became clear
that it was not Nathan. We hadn’t communicated once since he left my apartment
last week. I had dialed his number several times before clicking off. I had
deleted half-written texts. The ball was in my court. That was certain. My
choices were to give him what he wanted or to apologize and beg forgiveness. First,
I had to figure out which would hurt less. Neither option motivated me to act.
I shuffled in my pajama bottoms and T-shirt out of my room. “Yeah! I’m coming!”
    “It’s about damn time,” Alyssa said as I pulled open
the door. She stood with a phone in her hand and a tattered backpack on her
shoulder.
    I left the door wide and lumbered over to an armchair
where I collapsed, running my hands across my bedhead. Alyssa shut the door and
sat across from me on the couch. Her jeans looked like they’d been cheese
grated and her blue crop top showed her belly ring.
    “Sorry. I thought you’d be up.” Her features softened,
showing me the innocent face of a sad and beautiful teen.
    “I am now.” I pulled up my knees, wrapped my arms
around my legs, and rested my chin on them.
    “You see this shit?” She leaned over and held the face
of her phone toward me.
    “Sorry.” I shook my head.
    “A kid calls her mother ten times you’d think she
would answer one freaking time!”
    Alyssa and her mother moved in about two years ago.
Classic latchkey situation. She went from a sweet thirteen-year-old obsessed
with animals and books to a tattooed and pierced fifteen-year-old who read
trashy novels and swore like sailor. At least she hadn’t lost her love of the
animal kingdom. For an apartment with a no pet policy, she’d smuggled her way
through a couple of hamsters, a dozen cats and at least three dogs.
    “She at work?” I asked her.
    “I don’t know. Maybe. She hasn’t been working on Friday
nights. I came home an hour ago, and I’m just sitting there waiting at the door.
She’s probably out with that loser, Teddy.”
    “That guy from the bar?”
    “No, they broke up.