Read Comfortable With Uncertainty for Free Online Page A

relating to troubling habits such as laziness, anger, or self-pity. I call these the three futile strategies—the strategies of attacking, indulging, and ignoring.
    The futile strategy of attacking is particularly popular. When we see our habit we condemn ourselves. We criticize and shame ourselves for indulging in comfort, or pitying ourselves, or not getting out of bed. We wallow in the feeling of badness and guilt.
    The futile strategy of indulging is equally common. We justify and even applaud our habit: “This is just the way I am. I don’t deserve discomfort or inconvenience. I have plenty of reasons to be angry or to sleep twenty-four hours a day.” We may be haunted by self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy but we talk ourselves into condoning our behavior.
    The strategy of ignoring is quite effective, at least for a while. We dissociate, space out, go numb. We do anything possible to distance ourselves from the naked truth of our habits. We go on automatic pilot and just avoid looking too closely at what we’re doing.
    The mind-training practices of the warrior present a fourth alternative, the alternative of an enlightened strategy. Try fully experiencing whatever you’ve been resisting—without exiting in your habitual ways. Become inquisitive about your habits. Practice touching in with the fundamental tenderness and groundlessness of your being before it hardens into habit. Do this with the clear intention that your ego-clinging diminish and that your wisdom and compassion increase.

33
    The Opposite of Samsara
    T HE OPPOSITE OF samsara is when all the walls fall down, when the cocoon completely disappears and we are totally open to whatever may happen, with no withdrawing, no centralizing into ourselves. That is what we aspire to, the warrior’s journey. That is what stirs us: leaping, being thrown out of the nest, going through the initiation rites, growing up, stepping into something that’s uncertain and unknown.
    What do you do when you find yourself anxious because your world is falling apart? How do you react when you’re not measuring up to your image of yourself, everybody is irritating you because no one is doing what you want, and your whole life is fraught with emotional misery and confusion and conflict? At these times it helps to remember that you’re going through an emotional upheaval because your coziness has just been, in some small or large way, addressed. It’s as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. Tuning in to that groundless feeling is a way of remembering that basically, you do prefer life and warriorship to death.

34
    Cultivating the Four Limitless Qualities
    A TEACHER ONCE told me that if I wanted lasting happiness the only way to get it was to step out of my cocoon. When I asked her how to bring happiness to others she said, “Same instruction.” This is the reason that I work with the aspiration practices of the four limitless qualities of loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity: the best way to serve ourselves is to love and care for others. These are powerful tools for dissolving the barriers that perpetuate the suffering of all beings.
    It is best to do sitting meditation before and after these practices. To begin, we start just where we are. We connect with the place where we currently feel loving-kindness, compassion, joy, or equanimity, however limited it may be. (You can even make a list of people or animals who inspire these feelings in you.) We aspire that ourselves and our loved ones could enjoy the quality we are practicing. Then we gradually extend that aspiration to a widening circle of relationships.
    We can do these practices in three simple steps, using the words from the traditional Four Limitless Ones chant (see book epilogue) or whatever words make sense to us. First, we wish for ourselves one of the four limitless qualities. “May I enjoy loving-kindness.” Then we include a loved one in the aspiration: “May you enjoy