Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love and Sex: A Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy

Read Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love and Sex: A Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy for Free Online

Book: Read Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love and Sex: A Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy for Free Online
Authors: Robert Bryndza
mouth, as I fled from the scene leaving Adam to explain to a very confused Marika and Milan.

    He caught up with me a few minutes later. I was bent double, in tears by a phone box outside an off license, trying to get the goaty tang of cheese and bacon out of my nose. He went into the shop and emerged with a bottle of water, tissues, and ginger biscuits.  
    I took a sip of the water gratefully.
    ‘You should keep out of the cold, even if you are boiling hot,’ he said. He opened the phone box but it was disgusting inside. ‘Can you walk?’  
    ‘In a minute…’ I said. We moved over to a long low wall surrounding some council flats and sat down.  
    ‘Coco. We can have… you can… You don’t have to have this baby,’ said Adam. ‘I’ll support you whatever you want to do.’
    We sat on the wall for a long time in silence, cars swooshing past.
    ‘What did you say to Marika and Milan?’
    ‘I told them you had food poisoning.’
    ‘And they believed you?’
    ‘Why wouldn’t they?’ he said. We looked at each other for a long moment.
    ‘There is one thing I’d like to ask,’ he said.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Can I take a picture of your tits on my phone? They look incredible…’
    For the first time in ages, we laughed.

    When I had my breath back, we hailed a taxi and it was thankfully an uneventful journey home. I brushed my teeth, had a long warm shower, before pulling on a pair of Adam’s pyjamas and joining him on our improvised bed on the sofa.  
    ’Do you want me to phone up tomorrow?’ he asked. ‘What do you do? Just ask for a…’
    ‘It’s an abortion. I’ll book the abortion,’ I said. Rocco jumped up and curled himself up in between our legs. He rested his warm muzzle on my foot and gave a snort of contentment.  
    For the first night in ages I fell into a deep sleep.

    Monday 23rd January

    It was getting light through the window when I was woken by the whistling noise of my phone. A text had come through. I unhooked Adam’s arm from around my waist and reached up on the armrest of the sofa. It was from the NHS to say I was booked in for my scan at 9.30am at University College Hospital. I saw Rocco had woken up, and was sitting to attention, staring at me intently. Adam was still asleep. Rocco gave a quiet and considerate little wuff, so I quietly got up and took him out for a walk.  
    Regent’s Park was almost empty, and very grey, but I was calm. I’d made a choice. I didn’t know if it was the right choice, but I’d made it. I pulled my phone out to cancel the scan but it rang in my hand. It was Chris.
    ‘Hi Cokes! Did I wake you?’ he asked.  
    ‘No I’m up. Are you okay?’
    ‘Yes… No,’ he said. ‘I’m lying in my beautiful apartment, looking out of a glass wall at miles of Los Angeles, lit up in the darkness. The entertainment world is literally at my feet, and I have no one to share it with.’
    ‘I thought you were loving it there?’ I said.
    ‘I’m lonely Coco. I’ve got all this bloody money, but it can’t seem to buy me out of loneliness.’
    ‘I thought you’d made some friends?’
    ‘I did, but they disconnected me.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘I didn’t know they were Scientologists, and I might have mentioned, as a joke, that I thought it was a lot of mumbo jumbo.’  
    ‘Oh. Sorry. Have you seen any famous people?’  
    ‘Ooh! Yes. I did see someone we both like,’ he said excitedly.  
    ‘Was it Jennifer Lawrence?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Cameron Diaz?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Kirstie Alley?’
    ‘No. No, it was that girl, the one who was down the well in ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ . ’
    ‘ Who? ’
    ‘You know in ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ … The Senator’s daughter, captured by Buffalo Bill… She coaxes the little Bichon Frise down the well with a chicken bone? I saw her in the supermarket. She was buying kale.’
    ‘Since when do I like her?’
    ‘You like ‘The Silence of the Lambs’…’  
    I realised I had to get off the phone and ring

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