Read Christmas at Carrington’s for Free Online Page B

Carrington’s name badge.
    ‘Oh please don’t make a fuss. It’s
sooo
not a good vibe. And Kelly is adorable. I think you’re going to love her.’ I raise my eyebrows.
He must be having a laugh
. ‘Yes, I took the liberty of tactfully mentioning the … ’ he pauses, does a furtive left-then-right look before mouthing, ‘“shop girl” comment. And you know what, she just threw her head back and roared. Actually roared with laughter. She didn’t mean anything by it. She said it’s all part of the show, set up purely to entertain the audience, and she knows that you’re a fabulous sales person in real life,’ he gushes, like some deluded groupie.
    ‘Eddie, are you totally bonkers? That Ronald McDonald lookalike made a complete fool of Annie and me,’ I bellow. ‘And why does everyone keep on implying that the show isn’t real life? We’re real people with real lives working in a traditional department store. Get over it.’ I let out a big puff of air before smoothing down my hair.
    ‘Oooh.
Harsh
,’ Eddie whispers into my face, giving me a daggers look.
    ‘No.
Reality
. So stick that in your
dramality
pipe and smoke it,’ I say, suddenly desperate for a cigarette, even though I gave up smoking years ago. I only ever had a few on a Saturday night out anyway, not what I’d class as being a proper smoker, but I could really
really
do with a full-tar Benson right now.
    ‘OK. Calm down. Of course we are, but who wants to plod on with their real life when they can have a much more fabulous pretend one crammed full of staged spontaneity?’ Eddie says, clapping his hands together. And I give up.
    Pushing past him into Tom’s office, I stop short and instantly want to die. Kelly is standing right in front of me with her Lord Kitchener pointy finger sticking out and a massive grin spread across her face. And I bet she’s heard everything.
    ‘Hi, I’m Ronald McDonald,’ she says, immediately confirming my fear and not missing a beat. ‘And
you
must be Georgie, the star of the show!
Oh oh oh, oh oh ohhhh …
’ she sings, whipping up her other hand and flicking it backwards and forwards, just like Beyoncé does in the ‘Single Ladies’ video. I stare goggle-eyed and speechless as she then turns to the side, tilts her body forward slightly, bends her elbows and starts pumping her arms up and down, left then right, in sequence with her alternating legs.’
    Cuckoo! And she must know the whole dance routine. Sam was right, this woman is an utter fruit loop. Her big curls are flailing around. I jump back, suddenly conscious that she could whip my eye out without a moment’s notice if I’m not careful.
    ‘Err, yes. Um, sorry about that,’ I eventually manage to speak. ‘I, err … came to see Tom.’ I do a desperate scan of the room, but he’s not here. Kelly throws her arms around me, almost winding me in the process, before pulling back to study me.
    ‘
Chillaaax
,’ she says, in a kind of ‘far-out’, dreamy voice on seeing my tense face. She makes a peace sign with her fingers to emphasise her point.
Whaaaat? Who even says that anyway?
I resist the sudden urge to roll on the floor in hysterics and swivel my eyes around the room again instead. ‘You and I are going to be besties,’ Kelly ploughs on. ‘Calling me Ronald McDonald is hilarious and those Beyoncé moves of yours were TV gold. Priceless. But we’ll need to get Millie to sort you out before we can actually turn you towards the camera,’ she says, leaning in to scrutinise me while I wonder what’s wrong with my face.
    ‘Who’s Millie?’ I manage, desperately trying to get a grip.
    ‘The hair and make-up girl, of course. Will you want hair extensions?’ she fires. ‘Oh you’re bound to. Hang on.’ Looking back over her shoulder, she bellows towards Tom’s private bathroom. ‘Zara, call Xavier at Hair Fairies in Mayfair and tell him to bring the Balmain bag. Now, where were we?’ she turns back to face me.
    ‘Look, I