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disgust.”
     
    “Jack would never look at you like that. I know that it must have seemed like that with me because I lashed out but I wish I could take that back.”
     
    “Jack pulled away from me, mother. He pulled away and I checked out. I tried drinking the memories away. That let me to pouring my heart out to strangers. That led me to go home with men I didn’t know, because I felt like they cared more than my family. I can’t count the number of times I tried to turn to Jack but he was too busy. Where was he when I needed him? Where were you? Why didn’t you talk sense into me?!” Paxton felt herself get upset. This wasn’t going to be a smooth session.
     
    “I was grieving. I didn’t want to see you. I blamed you at first. I didn’t know you were sleeping with those men.” Paxton saw her mother’s eyes change. “If I knew, I would have said something. Believe me I would have given you a big piece of my mind. I just thought you were going on benders.”
     
    “So why didn’t you intervene? I’m your daughter! You should have seen me begin to deteriorate and stepped in to help me but you didn’t!” Paxton raised her voice. Her mother didn’t say anything back.
     
    “Paxton, let’s take a breath and calm down a little bit. We need to talk through this and try to understand the other person,” Dr. Keeler interjected. Paxton looked over at her and saw that she was trying to control the situation before it escalated.  “Jenny, what do you think about what Paxton has said?”
     
    Paxton watched her mother. She could tell that her mother was carefully formulating her answer.
     
    “She didn’t care about me, only the loss of Ella,” Paxton bit out.
     
    “That’s not true!” Jenny interjected before Dr. Keeler said anything. “Yes, I blamed you. I let that get in the way of me being your mother and watching out for you. I’m sorry Paxton, I should’ve been there. Jack should’ve been there. We failed you, not the other way around.”
     
    No one said anything for a few minutes. Paxton stared out the wall of glass. She stared at the people passing by.
     
    “What’s going through your mind right now Paxton?” Dr. Keeler asked.
     
    “I don’t know how to respond to that. I am my mother’s own flesh and blood but I feel like I let her down as much as she did. All I can think about from that time is that Duke was the only one that I could turn too. The only one who did check on me. He tried to stop me from going to the bars, even though he was grieving for his wife. My family should have been there to help me, to help Duke. Now I am torn between two men that want me, Jack and Duke. Fuck both of them right now.” Paxton wasn’t sure where the anger came from. How can she say that about Duke? Duke was there but she was so confused. She didn’t want to hurt Duke, but Jack still consumed her and it killed her.
     
    Her mother’s voice brought her back to the session, “Jack was your husband, he was there for you at the funeral, how could you turn to Duke or say Jack wasn’t there?”
     
    “Jack wasn’t there! He disappeared and stayed at his office for long hours. He stopped comforting me weeks after the funeral. He isn’t as perfect as you make him out to be. He has his faults in this. How am I supposed lean on him when he wasn’t there, how am I supposed to lean on family when they disappeared on me?”
     
    “We were grieving. We-”
     
    “And I wasn’t?!”
     
    “Ok, let’s take a break and collect ourselves,” Dr. Keeler interrupted. “We need to talk about this calmly and not blame each other.”
     
    Paxton got up and went to get a bottle of water from the mini-fridge that Dr. Keeler had in her office. She took a drink and stood away from them, her back turned to them. Her heart ached for Jack but her mind was playing images of him leaving. She just wanted to be with him even though her mind was trying to reason why they shouldn’t be together. She turned to come