Read Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for Free Online

Jeremy, "that sounds easy. But still, Daddy, whichever way you're going, to port or starboard, I bet you're going the wrong way—away from England, I mean."
    At this, Commander Caractacus Pott put on his "secret" face—the face he wore around Christmas time when Jeremy and Jemima asked if they were going to get what they had asked Father Christmas for, and the face he put on when, for instance, he was preparing the Easter egg hunt. All of them, Mimsie and Jeremy and Jemima, recognized their father's "secret" face and waited excitedly for what was to come as CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BANG sped on through the fog, throwing up fountains of spray from her whirling wheels, while the sound of the Goodwin Lightship's foghorn got farther and farther away.
    "Well," said Commander Pott in his "surprise'' voice (he also had a particular voice for springing surprises with), "it's the holidays, isn't it?"
    "Yes," they chorused.
    "So we'd all like to have a holiday adventure. Right?"
    "Yes," they said breathlessly.
    "Well," said Commander Pott, "CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BANG is going like smoke. The Channel's as flat as a millpond. We've got plenty of gas and the oil pressure's fine, the engine temperature's all right, and the fog will lift the farther we get away from land and it can't be more than about twenty-five miles now to the other side of the Channel and we're doing about thirty knots and a naval knot is 1.15 miles per hour, which gives us a speed of about thirty-five miles per hour, so the whole trip would take less than an hour. And as it's only just five o'clock now," he paused for breath, "and as we've never been abroad, I thought it would be rather fun to GO TO FRANCE!"
    "Good heavens!" said Mimsie.
    "Gosh!" said Jemima. "My hat!" said Jeremy.
    And, for a moment, they all sat thinking about this colossal adventure. Then Mimsie said, "But we haven't got any passports!"
    And Jeremy said, "But don't they have different money in France—francs they're called. What about francs?"
    And Jemima said, "What about the language? I've only learned 'oui' which means 'yes,' and 'non' which means 'no.' That's not going to get me very far."
    Commander Pott said firmly, "That's no way to treat adventures. Never say 'no' to adventures. Always say 'yes,' otherwise you'll lead a very dull life. Now then, passports—we'll make for Calais, which is dead ahead, and go to the British Consul who represents all English people, from the Queen down, in Calais, and get provisional passports. Money? We've got pounds and we'll change them into francs. Language—Mimsie and I both talk French a bit and if we can't make ourselves understood, we'll find someone who talks English. More people in the world talk English than any other language and we'll soon find someone. Right? Then that's settled. CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BANG'S going to take us right across the English Channel to France. Now then, we'll turn on the radio and get the weather report for ships and we'll steer a bit more toward the north as there's quite a current running down the Channel and we don't want to be swept along with it and suddenly find ourselves in Portugal or even in Africa." He chuckled. "Do we?"
    And all together, and very loud and definitely, they all said, "No, we don't!"
    So Commander Pott fiddled with the dials on the radio and out came the familiar voice they had never bothered to listen to before. But now it was very important indeed. It said: "And this is the shipping forecast—North Sea and English Channel: dead calm. Patches of fog near the English coast. Further outlook, unchanged."
    Commander Pott switched off the radio. "Well, that's all right. But now we've got to keep our eyes and ears open. The English Channel's always crowded with shipping sailing up and down from London, which is the biggest port in the world, and from Belgium and Holland and Denmark and Sweden and Norway—even from Russia—on its way to and from Africa, India, America, and even as far away as China and