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settled back against the wall and began to formulate my plan.

Nine
    Z ed

    A door slammed down the corridor just after I’d gotten the youngs settled onto their pallets on the floor.
    “Pa?” Blue whimpered. She was still panicky after the run-in with the Troika and the loss of Bravo and Mica. I knelt beside her and made the appropriate little soothing sounds. One she’d settled back down, I went to lie on my own thin blanket.
    Before the door slammed, I’d heard raised voices. One had been the girl’s—the one they called Meridian Six. The other sounded too young to be the old man, so I assumed it had come from the scarred man who’d stalked out of the book room earlier.
    I rolled on my side and tried to calm my thoughts, but there would be no sleep for me. That I knew. What I did not know was how I was going to convince the old man to allow me to join the others on the mission.
    After I’d left the book silo earlier, I’d snuck back down the corridor to listen to the conversation. I’d missed some of it, but heard the old man say that his real goal wasn’t to save Bravo and Mica but to kill someone he’d called Dr. Death. I’d been so angry at the time that I almost stormed into the room, but I’d managed to hold back. It was an argument I’d never have a chance of winning. Instead, I’d retreated back to the cell. While I’d told the youngs silly stories, my mind had been turning the situation over to come up with the solution.
    I had to go to the camp with them.
    It’d be a hard sell, I knew. First of all, Meridian refused to do the mission. And I’d seen enough of the scarred man’s reaction to the mere mention of the camp to know that he’d never make it. The other one—the vampire—wouldn’t be able to pose as a prisoner, either. From what I heard, there was a special camp set aside for vampires who betrayed the Troika. If Dare tried to blend into the population at the human work camp, she’d be found out immediately. Which meant the only person who could truly do the mission was Meridian Six. I had to convince her to agree to go to the camp and convince her to take me along for backup.
    And if she refused, I’d have to fight until they gave me the information I needed to find the camp by myself.
    I rolled over. Maybe I was just delaying the inevitable. The instant the Troika captured Bravo and Mica, I should have just gone into mourning instead of letting hope get ahold of me. There were so many obstacles—each more impossible than the last.
    God, I was tired. For ten years, I’d managed to eke out an existence in the hell that our world had become. First on my own, then with Bravo and the youngs. In some ways life had been easier when it was just me to worry about, but it sure had been lonely. Taking care of the youngs wasn’t easy, but on quiet nights when one of them would look up at me with a trusting smile or curl their little warm body up to mine, I felt like I had a real purpose beyond just surviving. Knowing it was up to me to protect all those young lives gave me hope because it gave me a purpose.
    So how in the hell could I lie there thinking I should give up on them when they needed me most? The idea of Mica at the mercy of those monsters, or Bravo facing down a group of guards to protect the youngs, was unbearable. My stomach burned hot with shame.
    I rose from the floor, careful not to wake the children. I needed to move if I was going to puzzle through this. The corridor was dark and cold as I made my way to the book room. Maybe some part of me was hoping that being around all those written ideas and facts might inspire me. The war had wiped out most of the books before I could develop a love of reading, but my father had always had one in hand. Maybe I’d convince Saga to let me borrow one or two when all of this was done—if I survived.
    A dim glow came from inside the book silo. I paused at the threshold and looked inside. At the large table in the center of the room,