imagining. And that’s a damn shame on my part. Yep, over and over I’ve caught Shar looking at my buns, smiling. Waving a match in front of my kerosene. Every time I’ve seen her, those baby brown eyes have owned that same glare of imagination that mine had been trying not to broadcast for the last year. Shar’s called my place looking for Toyomi a few times, and we’ve had some nice conversations. We’ve discussed her boyfriend. The problems they’ve had. Sex. And, as far as I know, she’s never told Toyomi that we’ve said more than a hi and bye to each other. Whenever she’s near Toyomi, she paints the impression of this thick, uncrossable line being there.
I wondered what would happen if both of us became victims of space and opportunity.
After we rode the bus to the west resort and skied most of those trails, we came back to the east side and headed for the lodge, Angeles Crest Café, to get our grub on. Hot dogs, hamburgers, fries, Mexican food, all of those smells were in the air and made my stomach grumble. Luck was on our side and we caught an empty table outside in the sun. It was about forty degrees, no breeze. Crowded. Not another empty table in sight.
We’d loosened our boots. Unzipped our jackets. Pulled the beanies, headbands, off our heads.
Steaming hot cocoa and bottled water were on the round iron table. Sandwiches were being devoured.
Toyomi said, “Charlotte, I’m glad I finally got a chance to meet you. Stephan’s been talking about you for over a year.”
Yep. This was their first-time meeting. Charlotte had met a couple of the other women I kicked it with, but never Toyomi.
Jake asked Shar, “You work in R&D with Toyomi?”
“Nope,” Shar answered. “I teach high school math. I’ll leave that engineer stuff to Toy and Stephan.”
Charlotte tugged off her gloves and liners. That was when Toyomi saw her engagement ring. “I forgot Stephan told me you were engaged. When’s the wedding, Charlotte?”
Nobody answered.
Shar was sitting between me and Jake. I felt her leg pressing against mine. There was plenty of space, but she was right up on me. Felt her warmth radiating through my bib. Shar told Charlotte she wanted to see her rock, leaned across me, put her body all on mine, rubbed up against me as she said how beautiful the marquis was, then sat back down, her leg still up against mine. She ignored me, pretended what she’d done was no big deal. She was focused on Charlotte when she asked, “How long have you two been engaged?”
Charlotte sort of smiled at the questions, but uneasiness sprouted in Jake’s expression. Lines grew in his forehead. His fingers came down his roan complexion and stroked his black goatee. He did that methodical move over and over. That was his nervous-trying-to-look-cool move.
Charlotte answered, “We haven’t actually set a date yet. We’ve talked about it, but, well, you know how it is.”
Shar said, “You must’ve just got engaged.”
“Not really.” That slight smile was fading from Charlotte’s face. A weariness from answering that question a million times since that ring had been planted on her hand. “We’ve been engaged almost a year. To be exact, a year on the twenty-fifth of this month. But who’s counting?”
The women at the round table shared a womanly expression. I felt them transferring information in silence. Jake felt it. I know he did because we were communicating without words too.
Toyomi said, “I’ve been with Stephan longer than you’ve been engaged.”
Silence interrupted us. In silence there was judgment.
Then Shar piled on another question. “How long were you and Jake together before he popped the question?”
Charlotte said, “Six months.”
More communication and judgments in the absence of sound.
A longing was living in Toyomi’s eyes.
I didn’t say anything. Just chewed my turkey sandwich and let them talk. Felt like my head was in a vise grip.
Toyomi and I had been on the ups and