Cheaper by the Dozen

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Book: Read Cheaper by the Dozen for Free Online
Authors: Frank B. Gilbreth, Ernestine Gilbreth Carey
for a whole year, we could afford a gardener, too."
    "Do I hear a motion to that effect?" Dad beamed. "Does anybody want to stop allowances?"
    No one did. After some prodding by Dad, the motion on allotting work finally was introduced and passed. The boys would cut the grass and rake the leaves. The girls would sweep, dust and do the supper dishes. Everyone except Dad would make his own bed and keep his room neat. When it came to apportioning work on an aptitude basis, the small girls were assigned to dust the legs and lower shelves of furniture; the older girls to dust table tops and upper shelves. The older boys would push the lawnmowers and carry leaves. The younger ones would do the raking and weeding.

    The next Sunday, when Dad convened the second meeting of the Council, we sat self-consciously around the table, biding our time. The chairman knew something was in the air, and it tickled him. He had trouble keeping a straight face when he called for new business.
    Martha, who had been carefully coached in private caucus, arose.
    "It has come to the attention of the membership," she beg 111 , "that the assistant chairman intends to buy a new rug for the dining room. Since the entire membership will be required to look upon, and sit in chairs resting upon, the rug, I move that the Council be consulted before any rug is purchased."
    "Second the motion," said Anne.
    Dad didn't know what to make of this one. "Any discussion?" he asked, in a move designed to kill time while he planned his counter attack.
    "Mr. Chairman," said Lillian. "We have to sweep it. We should be able to choose it."
    "We want one with flowers on it," Martha put in. "When you have flowers, the crumbs don't show so easily, and you save motions by not having to sweep so often."
    "We want to know what sort of a rug the assistant chairman intends to buy," said Ernestine.
    "We want to make sure the budget can afford it," Fred announced.
    "I recognize the assistant chairman," said Dad. "This whole Council business was your idea anyway, Lillie. What do we do now?"
    "Well," Mother said doubtfully, "I had planned to get a plain violet-colored rug, and I had planned to spend a hundred dollars. But if the children think that's too much, and if they want flowers, I'm willing to let the majority rule."
    "I move," said Frank, "that not more than ninety-five dollars be spent."
    Dad shrugged his shoulders. If Mother didn't care, he certainly didn't.
    "So many as favor the motion to spend only ninety-five dollars, signify by saying aye."
    The motion carried unanimously.
    "Any more new business?"
    "I move," said Bill, "that we spend the five dollars we have saved to buy a collie puppy."
    "Hey, wait a minute," said Dad. The rug had been somewhat of a joke, but the dog question was serious. We had wanted a dog for years. Dad thought that any pet which didn't lay eggs was an extravagance that a man with twelve children could ill afford. He felt that if he surrendered on the dog question, there was no telling what the Council might vote next. He had a sickening mental picture of a bam full of ponies, a roadster for Anne, motorcycles, a swimming pool, and, ultimately, the poor house or a debtors' prison, if they still had such things.
    "Second the motion," said Lillian, yanking Dad out of his reverie.
    "A dog," said Jade, "would be a pet. Everyone in the family could pat him, and I would be his master."
    "A dog," said Dan, "would be a friend. He could eat scraps of food. He would save us waste and would save motions for the garbage man."
    "A dog," said Fred, "would keep burglars away. He would sleep on the foot of my bed, and I would wash him whenever he was dirty."
    "A dog," Dad mimicked, "would be an accursed nuisance. He would be our master. He would eat me out of house and home. He would spread fleas from the garret to the porte-cochere. He would be positive to sleep on the foot of my bed.
    Nobody would wash his filthy, dirty, flea-bitten carcass."
    He looked pleadingly at

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