Read Chances Aren't for Free Online

toward the back door. Turning back, I say, "Anytime you guys want to come over and use the pool, feel free. Even if we're... I mean, I'm not there."
    "Great, I'm sure we'll take you up on that." She follows behind me.
    Stepping out to the deck, I point to the door. "Make sure you lock this."
    "I will."
    "Until Tom gets back I'll keep an eye on you... I mean, your house. Not in a stalkerish way, just, you know, I can see right into your..." I slowly exhale while shaking my head and she breaks into a chuckle. Pointing to my house, I stammer, "I, uh, I'm just going to go now. You should probably forget most of all this."
    "Ben, thanks for fixing the window..." She smiles at me. "And hang in there."
    "I will."
    I return to my backyard, strip off my shoes and socks and after rolling up my pants, I put my feet in the pool. It's been unusually hot for June and the water temperature is amazingly warm. Leaning back, I relax supporting my weight on my arms behind me as I gaze up at the starlit sky thinking that my best days are behind me and hoping I didn't just come across as an old creepy guy with Nina. Convinced that I did, I imagine that she's probably over there laughing at me right now. Leveling my gaze, I spot her in the window at the sink washing dishes and quickly look away. I rise up, shake off my wet feet and head into the house.
    Sitting down at the computer, I open up a spreadsheet and compile a quick listing of all our assets and debts. I wasn't too far off in my estimate and we owe just over six hundred thousand across all our mortgage loans. I pull up the credit card accounts and find another fifteen thousand that we owe, but that's the whole story— there are no other bills or car loans to worry about.
    I'm feeling pretty relaxed from my beer and wine combination and for a moment, I consider going out for a swim, but decide against it. With my luck I'll pass out in the pool only to be pulled from the water just in time that I live the rest of my life in a vegetative state. One where I'm cognitive enough to hear what everyone is saying about me, but I'm unable to communicate. What a nightmare that would be. Instead I head upstairs and flop into bed.

Chapter 5

    My eyes open and it's barely light outside. Turning to the clock, I find it's only 5:23 a.m. I groan and turn on my side clutching my pillow in an attempt to fall back asleep. After a few unsuccessful minutes, I reach into my nightstand and pull out my black sleep mask. Light, noise, my overactive mind— everything keeps me from sleeping. I can't stand it. I wish I were one of those people who could sleep until noon. The latest I've ever gotten up was maybe ten and that was after a night of staying up until three.
    I'm hungry and for some reason I find myself thinking about Emily's sauce which makes me think about Emily and how we fell in love, since the sauce sorta played a key role. We met the summer before our senior year in college, but we didn't go to the same school. She went to Towson State while I was at the University of Maryland in College Park. We actually met at a bar in Fells Point, which is a little trendy area of Baltimore city right on the water which is packed with bars and restaurants.
    The night we met, Emily was in the bar with friends and I was there with my college roommate, Alan. From across the bar, we caught each other's eye and I had just enough to drink that I mustered up the courage to talk to her. This wasn't something I was at all used to doing, but the way she looked at me made me feel really comfortable. Normally I didn’t have a clue what to say to girls, but she was so easy to talk to, we really had some definite chemistry brewing that night. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight or anything like that, I mean, don't get me wrong, I was drawn to that bright smile and her big brilliant blue eyes.
    I remember she lit up when we were together that night. It made me feel like I was someone worthy of being loved and for a guy