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Eric would be able to join me once I was completely frozen from the waist down and the thin blue curtain that we had seen in almost every episode of
Grey’s Anatomy
had been set up to separate us from the blood.
    I waddled to the OR and was introduced to the on-call anesthesiologist, Dr. Tam. Nancy helped me on the operating table and told me to sit on the side and round my back so that Dr. Tam could stick the needle in my spine. She promised to stay in front of me so that I could prop my body up against her and hug her shoulders.
    â€œThe biggest thing is that I need for you to stay completely calm and remain still,” Dr. Tam murmured from beneath her surgical mask, as though it should be easy breezy to stay perfectly still when curled over a protruding, pregnant belly and someone is about to stick a six-inch needle into your lower spine.
    â€œSqueeze tighter,” Nancy instructed. “It’s okay, honey, it will be over soon.”
    And so it was. Within moments, almost the entire surgical team, who had entered the room while the needle had been in my back, were helping turn me over and get me into position. “We have to go quick,” Nancy explained. “We only have a few moments before you will be unable to move.”
    When Dr. Marlow was satisfied that I was completely numb from the waist down, they called in Eric, who had changed from his street clothes into head-to-toe hospital scrubs, including something that looked like a big, blue shower cap on his head. He walked through the small operating room and took his position at my head. My arms had been spread out and strapped down on either side of me, my body making a big
T
position on the table, and Eric reached out to take my right hand in his.
    Although I felt no pain, the intense tugging and pulling going on inside of me was severe enough to make me wonder if the ring of fire that accompanied natural births would have been better. I had no idea what they were doing, and didn’t want to know, but it felt like someone the size of a Mack truck was doing a line dance on my stomach and lungs.
    â€œHere she comes,” Dr. Marlow called out over the blue curtain, only minutes after the surgery had started. I was shocked at how quickly things were moving. “Give me about one more minute and your daughter will be here.”
    â€œThis is it, Nic. We’re finally going to be parents,” Eric whispered into my ear. “I love you, baby.” I tried to take in the moment, but my brain would focus on nothing but the obese line dancer jumping all over my belly and preventing me from being able to breathe.
    â€œHere she is!” Dr. Marlow held our beautiful baby over the blue curtain and we got our first glimpse of our angel. She was red and puffy with icky, white vernix all over her bald head. And she was perfect. “She is definitely a girl!”
    The doctor handed Ella to the nurse who whisked her to a table about six feet from my head. I cranked my neck in an attempt to get a glimpse, but couldn’t see anything more than the nurse’s back. A few pink blankets were being thrown around, but I couldn’t get a glimpse of Ella.
    I strained my ears to hear her cry, but heard nothing. I waited some more, but only heard my own heart beating in my brain, its sound echoing into my eardrums.
    â€œEric? Why can’t I hear her?” I tried to move off the table, but got nowhere. The pressure on my gut had ceased, but my body was still filled with lead and I couldn’t move a millimetre, not to mention Dr. Marlow was still putting me back together and stitching me up.
    â€œ
Shhh . . . shhh
. It’s okay. Ella is with the nurse, who knows what she’s doing. I’ll go have a look.” Eric gave my hand a squeeze and went to stand beside the nurse, who was hovering over Ella. He whispered quietly with her, before returning to my bed to retake my hand. “Ella is breathing on her own, which is