Read Casket for Sale, Only Used Once for Free Online

phones."
    Helen got her own purse and retrieved her cell phone. She looked at the display in disbelief. "My battery's dead, too!"
    "Are you serious?" I asked.
    "No." Helen gave a half-smile and dialed.
    Something else Helen never did was joke during moments of stress. I got in trouble all the time for doing that. This personality change was starting to become scary.
    Seconds later, Helen's half-smile disappeared. "I'm not getting a signal."
    "Nothing?" Samantha asked.
    Helen held up the display for her to see then tried again. "No signal. It's not working."
    "How can that be?" I asked. "We're not that deep in the woods, are we?"
    "Maybe the camper's too tightly insulated or something," said Helen.
    I frowned. "A camper wouldn't block cell phone reception, would it?"
    "I don't know!" Helen snapped. "I'm just saying it isn't working! Where's your phone?"
    "It's ... I left it at home," I admitted. "It's on the counter. Next to the spatula." I'd only owned the stupid thing for three weeks, and I avoided its use as much as possible.
    "Damn it, Andrew, I thought you were going to try to be more responsible!"
    I couldn't believe this. "I am being more responsible! Look, the gas tank is almost full! I turned away from
Wreitzer
Park
on the word of a crazy old man! So I forgot my cell phone ... we had two others in the camper! If you're going to get mad at somebody, get mad at Roger! He forgot to plug in Samantha's phone!"
    "It was a funky plug!" Roger insisted.
    "Then you should have asked!" Samantha said.
    "It looked like it was working!"
    "Stop fighting!" Theresa shouted. "You're acting like babies!"
    All of the adults shut up. Yes, a nine-year-old who only a short time earlier had been at war over a tiny block of tooth-marked chocolate had successfully put us in our place.
    "Let's get the kids out of the way," I suggested, quietly.
    Samantha took Kyle's hand. "Here, Kyle, why don't you come up and snuggle with your Aunt Samantha in the top bunk?"
    When did she become "Aunt Samantha?" That woman didn't get to appoint herself an honorary aunt without my permission! Who did she think she was? Dear God, if Roger stuck with her he would be whipped beyond all reasonable human--
    I put that out of my mind and focused on much more pressing matters, such as, say, the lunatic truck drivers. Samantha helped Kyle onto the upper sleeper, and then climbed up there with him, while Helen huddled down with Theresa on the floor. I left the driver's seat and walked to the rear of the camper to get a look at the guy behind us.
    Like his buddy, he was unshaven and had long dark hair. However, this guy was morbidly obese, a fact that was obvious even with most of his body hidden from view. I couldn't make a weight estimate, but he was clearly enormous.
    He stared at me, looking almost bored.
    "I think Roger and I should go out there and talk to them."
    "Andrew, no!" said Helen.
    "Maybe they're just playing a joke. Seeing how long we'll sit in here. I mean, what else could they possibly be doing? They're not attacking us or trying to steal our camper or anything like that."
    "Maybe they're waiting for somebody else."
    And then the guy behind us began to back up. He pulled back nearly ten feet then stopped.
    "He's moving," I announced.
    "The guy up here is saying something," Roger informed everybody. "Not to us, he must be talking into a walkie-talkie or something."
    "It damn well better not be a cell phone," I muttered.
    The truck in front of us honked. "Roger, switch places," I said, and we crossed paths in the middle of the camper as I returned to the driver's seat.
    The truck honked again.
    I honked back and gave him the finger.
    Goblin grinned. It was not a grin that left me with a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
    I started up the engine. "I think he wants me to back up," I said. What I really wanted to do was floor the gas pedal and knock the grinning prick off the road, but even though our vehicle had the size advantage it would never work, at least not