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and sat up a little bit. “Colleen? Are you okay?”
    She’d asked him here. No. She’d told him to come with her. She’d practically attacked him in the front entryway. And now she was on top of him, tearing off his clothes. Colleen swallowed against a suddenly bitter taste.
    “I...I’m sorry,” she managed to say. “I’m not usually this...demanding.”
    Jesse’s hands rubbed her thighs, moving up to settle on her hips and keep her in place when she tried to get off him. “Don’t be sorry.”
    Controlling bitch , echoed Steve’s voice. She tried to push it away, but the memories rose up again. Bitter. Hateful. His mockery, disdain, contempt and, finally, derision. Always have to have it your way, huh? Can’t just take it like a woman should? Frigid, boring bitch. Maybe get a few drinks in you, maybe that’ll make you more fuckable.
    Colleen shook her head, scattering her ex-husband’s taunts. She drew in a breath, looking down at Jesse. At least the dim lighting made this a little less embarrassing. Gave her a little extra courage. She got off him, anxious for a second when it seemed like he wouldn’t release her. She sat next to him on the couch, close but not quite touching.
    Jesse turned toward her. “Hey. You okay? Look, we don’t have to...um... I don’t want you to think we have to. If you don’t want to.”
    “I want to.” That was the truth, though she said it in a low voice, half hoping he wouldn’t hear. “It’s just that it’s been a while. And I’m not sure I can. Come, I mean. I’m not sure.”
    Silence. She counted the beat of her heart. Five, then six thumps before he spoke.
    “I’d like to help you, if I can.” Jesse cleared his throat lightly. “Shit, that sounded cheesy. I mean I’d like to... Shit, Colleen, I want you. Have for...well, long enough. I’d like to make love to you.”
    That made her laugh, too loud. “You mean fuck.”
    “I’d like to fuck you, yeah.” Jesse’s voice was closer to her ear than she’d expected. His breath, warm on her face. He didn’t touch her, though. “I’d like to make you come. I’d really like that.”
    Her need had made her greedy, but when she kissed him, it was slower and softer than it had been. Less frantic. When he moved closer to put his arms around her, she let him. It went on that way for a while. The kissing deepened. His hands moved over her, gently at first, a little harder if she moaned or sighed. Their clothes came off, and being naked with him was less nerve-racking than she’d have imagined, if only because the room was still so dark.
    When his hand moved between her legs, stroking, Colleen shivered and twitched. Her breath caught. When he pushed her back against the cushions, murmuring a question about condoms, she blinked.
    “I don’t have anything.” How stupid had she been? Inviting him back here with no preparation.
    “Hold on.” He pushed off her, but he was back in half a minute. “I have one in my wallet.”
    Flashbacks to high school made her sit up. Without his heat, she was starting to get cold. “Is that a safe way to keep it?”
    “I have a special wallet,” Jesse told her. He was silent for another second, then sounded half embarrassed. “It’s got a special pocket.”
    “Oh.” At this she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. “You must use a lot of condoms.”
    She heard the hesitation in his answer, but then he moved closer to brush his lips over hers as he replied, “I believe in always being prepared. That’s all.”
    Then he was moving over her again. Hands, mouth, teeth. His fingers slipped between her legs, making her shiver and shake, but then moved away. She waited, tense, for him to push her legs apart. To enter her. She wasn’t going to come, not even close to it.
    “Let go,” he whispered. “Let me make you feel good, Colleen.”
    But she couldn’t, that was the trouble. Steve had been right, she was too controlling. Too uptight. A sobbing breath hitched out