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…”
    “The bellboy must have forgotten
the shoes what with all the commotion.” Sir Gruesome had had enough
of murder weapons for one morning. He nudged the pretty, red shoes
with the toe of his own brown Hush Puppies. “I am sure the old gal
would have hated the sight of a pair of unpolished shoes.” He
squinted short-sightedly and bent down to take a closer look,
wondering how they could still be so wet.
    Lord
Mars-Wrigley paled visibly.
    “ But you must
have known the victim, of course.” Sir Gruesome studied his
colleague thoughtfully. “Ms Olivia Cadbury-Flake, headmistress of
your local girls´ school. Did you know she led a double life, by
the way? In her spare time, she worked as a car park attendant.
Actually she took part in their annual convention here last
night.”
    Lord
Mars-Wrigley shook his head in disbelief. “So Ms Crazy and those
catty … eh Miss Penderghast and Mrs McVities... They are all car
park attendants? So they were here to participate in that Car Park
Attendants convention? But that…”
    Again Sir
Gruesome had to interrupt the old man. “You haven´t seen or heard
anything out of the ordinary, old chap? No, I´m sure you slept
through it all after your exciting banquet at the museum.” He
guffawed heartily. “We really must have a wee drop of something in
the bar later, dear chap.”
    Sir Gruesome raised his hand in
what was probably meant as some kind of parting shot and rushed off
to question hundreds of car park attendants, many of them agitated
women. He felt a twinge of unease. Had he just missed
something?
     
A week later
     
    “ I ´m tremendously sorry to have to
tell you that you are arrested on suspicion of murder, m´lord.”
Visibly uncomfortable, Sir Gruesome cleared his throat while he
crossed the threshold of Lord Mars-Wrigley´s beautiful country
house. “It´s really too bad, old chum, but you know, Gung Ho and
all that. Did the blasted woman try to blackmail you? Was that
it?”
    “ No, not
really. She caught me red-handed, of course. Or red-shod, to be
exact. She was gloating when she told me she would turn me in. Told
me how much she loved reporting delinquents. The self-righteous
little bitch. Said she loved doing good little deeds. A car park
attendant indeed! I just couldn´t bear it.” Lord Mars-Wrigley lowered his snow-white hair in shame. “But
those shoes … I was so envious of the person who could put her feet
into those feminine and attractive shoes. I just had to put them
on.” Once he had started, the words just poured out of him. “But
first I ran into that wretched Selina Crazy-woman and had to cajole
her down to the bar. Hours later I stole upstairs again, more than
half-drunk, I am afraid, and when I finally managed to send the old
bird off to bed, it was very late. I was feeling a bit groggy by
then so I slipped into Ms Cadbury-Flake´s room with the shoes
instead of my own. So silly of me. Of course I woke her up. Scared
the scarecrow a bit, I dare say.” He laughed excitedly, beginning
to enjoy his own confession.
    “ But I kept
my sagacious old head calm and told her we must be able to sort
things out somehow. I offered her a sip of one of my very best
specimen, a vintage hipflask which belonged to Jack the Hipper
himself. Strychnine, will you believe it? At first she protested a
bit, but I…” He made a suggestive movement with his hand, and
Gruesome remembered the bruises around Ms Cadbury-Flake´s
mouth.
    “ And later I
even remembered to switch the shoes again.” The murderer sent Sir
Gruesome a proud smile before he sagged a little in his worn, old
armchair.
    “ H rmph, I suppose I could turn my
back for a sec if you´d prefer the honourable way out.” With an
exaggerated movement of his head, Sir Gruesome squinted
meaningfully towards the first floor window.
    “Oh no, I suffer from the most
dreadful fear of heights, and unfortunately I just ran out of
poison. How did your folks get on to me, by the way? I am
absolutely