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Best of luck with your deranged nineteenth-century exis tence and working your way to the hanging tree. But if you don’t mind, think I’ll just mosey on back to the Bro ken Buck Dude Ranch.”
    The men appeared confused. “Lady, they’re ain’t no Broken Butt Dude Ranch in these parts,” said Luke.
    Jessica crossed her arms over her bosom. “It’s Broken Buck. And, whatever, I’m leaving.”
    Ma nodded. “Yep, you boys had best fetch her back be fore the posse comes after her.”
    “But, Ma, if we fetch her back, she’ll sic the law on us,” protested Billy.
    “Yeah, Ma, she’ll turn us in,” added Wes.
    Ma appeared to waver, scratching her jaw. “Well, maybe you boys got a point.” She raised an eyebrow at Jessica. “Ma’am, would you give over my boys?”
    Jessica crossed herself and shook her head. “Ab solutely not. Honest injun. I don’t even know where this place is.”
    “She’ll turn us in,” Luke insisted. “Sure as Sunday.”
    “Ma, purty please, let us keep her,” pleaded Gabe. “After all, we deserve somethin’ for our troubles, after robbin’ the stage and all.”
    “You all deserve a kick in the pants!” roared Ma, wav ing a plump arm. “Here you brung home this sure-nuff lady like she’s some doll for you to play with, when all five of you rascals should be settlin’ down and finding re spectable wives for yourselves.”
    The four younger men hung their heads in shame. Cole just glowered. Proudly.
    All at once Billy’s head shot up, and he snapped his fingers. “I know. I’ll marry her, then!”
    Jessica sucked in a horrified breath as Billy’s three younger brothers snapped up their heads, glanced tensely at one another, then joined in.
    “No, I’ll marry her!” protested Luke.
    “Give her to me, please, Ma,” pleaded Gabe. “I promise I’ll treat her right.”
    “Play you a hand of blackjack for her,” offered Wes to Billy.
    Billy stepped forward to confront Wes. “Naw, you cheat, and ‘sides, it’s my idear, so I get first dibs.” He turned to his mother. “Well, Ma, what do you say? Can I have her?”
    For a long, charged moment, Ma ruminated, mumbling under her breath. Jessica wrung her hands and felt half ill.
    “Maybe,” Ma said at last.
    “What?” protested Jessica.
    “Now, honey.” Ma turned to flash Jessica a placating smile. “When you think about it, it could be the perfect remedy. My boys is right reluctant to let you go, lest you give ‘em over to the law. So I reckon it’s best you marry up with one of ‘em. You ain’t got no husband, do you?”
    “Well, I—”
    “After all, ain’t that what every female wants—a hus band, a home and young ‘uns to care for?”
    “Speak for yourself,” muttered Jessica.
    Ma made a sweeping gesture toward the barn, the corn crib and corral. “Honey, lookie here at all this beauty. If'n you marry up with one of my boys, after I pass, all of this will be yours.”
    Appalled, Jessica gazed at the cluttered barnyard, watched a pig dig in the mud, and took a deep breath of manure-fragrant air. Helplessly she beseeched the heav ens. ‘‘Whatever did I do to deserve this?”
    “No fair!” protested Gabe to his mother. “It ain’t fair you just give her over to Billy, and the rest of us get no chance.”
    “Yeah, it ain’t fair,” said Wes.
    “Yeah,” agreed Luke.
    Ma mulled this over, then brightened. “I know—why don’t all of you boys shape up, then all of you can court her? It can be like a contest, with the best-behaved gettin’ the prize. That way, the lady here can decide for herself which one of you she wants.”
    Four male faces lit with grins.
    “No!” protested Jessica. “I mean, no offense, ma’am, but I don’t want any of these men.”
    Ma grew suspicious; her heavy brows drew together and thunderclouds loomed in her eyes. “Are you saying my boys ain’t good enough for you, lady?”
    Jessica struggled not to wince aloud. This woman was more daunting than an