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my reins
    ________________
Game
 
    practically new
to the game of dating
there are very few
who are left waiting
for that special person
to take for their own
and become as one
for all eternity
    ________________
Only
 
    I only want someone loving
to hold me closely
And whisper in my ear
Promises and secrets
Of us being together year after year
And making my heart
Burst from my chest
at the very thought
    ________________
Back
 
    Something holds me back
from the things I want
it happens each time our eyes lock
that’s when the butterflies attack
    And my mind they taunt
    ________________
Rock
 
    You hit my heart with a jagged rock
Each time I pull away
The rope ties tighter
Around my waist
And months later I notice these rope burns that stay
Grow brighter
And stick to my flesh like paste
    ________________
Pain
The pain creeps up
Through my spine
And gathers around my neck
Makes me corrupt
And fills my glass with wine
To dispel the nervous wreck
That I’ve become
My ankles shake
I look away
As some
Talk of what a mistake
I’ve made
and try to think of a way
To punish me
For the sin
I’ve wrapped myself in.
 
    ________________
I would love to tell you what's in my head
but if I ever did
the relationship we now have would become dead
and I'd be an invalid
hopelessly wandering the street
where you live
crying out to all I meet
hoping my pain to others I could give
so empathy they'd feel
and with me cry
helping me deal
with this never-ending lie.
 
    ________________
U say
 
    u say u don’t care
what’s going on with me
I wouldn’t dare
Ask why this is the way it must be
Deep inside I know you
Have affection for me
But not love that is true
I now see
Where my road is heading.
    ________________
    Make Me
     
    Make me follow your lead
Make my heart beat
Make my belly full of your seed
Make me yearn for your caress
Make my legs grow weak
Make my emotions one big mess
Make me depend upon you
Make my life revolve around yours
Make my decisions too
Make me love all there is about you
Make my desire lead me
Make my heart beat
Make my love known
Make me sweet
Make my soul no longer my own.
    ________________
I see you
but do you notice me?
I watch how your lips curve into a smile
but know you don't see
the softness in my eyes as I dial
your number
and think and pray
that you'll pick it up
and say
"hey"
 
    ________________
    everyone I see
just isn’t the right one for me
I try to spot the love in someone’s eyes
But always come to realize
That there is none there for I
But why?
    ________________
Funny
 
    it’s funny how one day you care
but the next you don’t
it’s funny how yesterday all you did was stare
but now you won’t
it’s funny how you looked at me
but now will not
it’s funny how this relationship was meant to be
but emptiness is what we got
it’s funny how I am so scared to love someone
but you are not
it’s funny how much I want us to be one
but never hear you say I’m hot
it’s funny how much I love your smile
but how seldom you use it
it’s funny how I hate your style
but that makes you lit
it’s funny how much I need you in my life
but am petrified to ask if you’d like me as your wife.
 
    ________________
Indecision
 
    I try so hard to be your friend

But you keep pushing me aside

Whether I stay or leave will depend

On if you make me want to hide

Away my emotions from you

Or bottle up my fears

Cause this thing you do

Makes me want to shed tears

And run from before your face

The rejection is more than spite

Feels like being sprayed with mace

And the stinging in my eyes ruins my sight

Makes me blind to this abuse

That I am going through

Please stop this thing you do.
    ________________
unable
 
    I just wanted you to hold my hand
But you’d pull away
I wanted a hug but you just shoved me in the sand
“I love you too” is what I hoped you’d say
but never heard it said back
I tried