me. I’m on my way there now. I will see you there.”
Jack almost ran off the road as he sped out of the parking lot on his way to the hospital, his mind spinning as different scenarios ricocheted through his head, each one worse than the previous. Fortunately, he was only ten minutes from the hospital, but made it in seven, pulling up behind an ambulance in the emergency entrance, it’s lights still flashing.
He ran into the emergency room, a crowded mess on New Year’s Eve. Fighting through the crowd at the counter, he immediately demanded to see Brittany.
“I am here to see Brittany Boyd,” he pushed his way to the front of the line, no one daring to get in his way “She was just brought in from a car accident.”
“What is your name,” the harried nurse replied with an attitude and checked the admission list on her computer screen.
“My name is Jack Anderson, and I am here to see Brittany Boyd,” he repeated himself abruptly just in case she hadn’t heard him.
“Sir, are you family,” Jack’s heart sank as her tone changed from one of frustration to sympathy, and he immediately knew what it meant.
“No, I am not goddamn family,” he cried. “Tell me what happened to her.”
Denise arrived just in time to avoid an ugly incident, and after identifying herself as Brittany’s mother, they were ushered to a room decorated with soft couches and warm blue colors, a room Jack later found out was called the grief room.
The Doctor arrived to deliver the news. Brittany had died instantly, the likely victim of a drunk driver who had run through a red light and smashed directly into her driver’s side. She had felt no pain, he informed them, the impact of the high speed crash impossible to survive. Having delivered the devastating news, the Doctor left quickly, but not before letting them know that the other driver had been killed as well, as if that would provide some kind of closure or consolation in their time of loss.
Everything was a blur after that. Jack and Denise crying in that blue room, the argument with Brittany’s ex-husband, his assigning the blame that Jack had already accepted and letting him know that he wasn’t going to be a part of their family, that he was to blame for having taken the girls’ mother away from them. Seeing Delaney and Bailey at the funeral mourning their mother, wanting so much to be able to love and take care of them, but having to watch at a distance as their tears wouldn’t stop.
The long nights of missing her and wishing she was still here, fully aware it was his fault that she wasn’t.
* * *
What is that noise? Where am I? Am I asleep?
Jack wasn’t sure what was going on, a hard to describe yet familiar feeling having taken over his body, a sort of sleepless coma to which he withdrew during the most difficult nights.
“Snap out of it, Jack,” an imaginary voice jarred him out of his trance, the unidentifiable noise suddenly easily recognizable as the ringing of his phone.
“Hello,” he managed to mumble as he answered the phone.
“Hi, Jack, it’s Delaney again,” she answered insecurely as if he wouldn’t remember her voice.
“Hi, honey,” Jack answered as he sat up and tried to get himself together. “How are you?”
“I’m okay, Jack. Did I wake you up?”
Jack looked at the clock and saw it was 11:50, still New Year’s Eve he assumed. Where had the last four hours gone?
“No, I was awake. Happy New Year,” he said out of habit before realizing how ridiculous it sounded. “How was your day?”
“It was good, Jack,” she fibbed. “We had a Memorial Service for Mom and then we went out to dinner. It was a nice service, and so many people came. I wish you could have been there.”
“I wish I could have too, honey,” he regretted missing the service although both of them knew he wasn’t welcome. “Your mother was an amazing woman and I miss her very much.”
“I know you do, Jack. I miss her, too,” her voice trailed off
Alex Richardson, Lu Ann Wells