laughing, but mostly crying, as my father slept in his drunken stupor and snored flooded me. I curled up on the couch
with my knees folded into my stomach. I placed my head against a pillow my mother had crocheted for my father one year for Valentine’s Day. I drifted into a calm but alarming sleep. A sleep that
made you feel like you were falling through the mattress into eternity. I couldn’t stay awake. The exhaustion was upon me and I could no longer fight it.
I awoke the next morning with the “Family” frame still in my hands, the glass stained with my dried up tears. I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be able to live in the house for long, but I didn’t know
when I would be ready to leave. I awoke to a text message from Mike Sacaza, a family friend and our attorney. He had bailed my father out every time he was arrested for disorderly conduct at the
bars and had represented him in court while he acted like a smart ass in front of the judge. Uncle Mike, as I called him, was coming over this morning to discuss the will. I could barely move, let
alone discuss the final particulars of my mother’s life…her will. The doorbell rang, and my stomach flinched. I fixed my clothes and worked desperately to do something with my hair, finally
settling on a ponytail. I glanced in the mirror and resigned myself to realizing there wasn’t much I could do to fix it right now.
“Uncle Mike.” I placed my hand over my mouth.
“Jenesis, how are you?” He smiled.
“Come on in, let me brush my teeth. Give me a sec.” He sat on the couch in the living room as I walked over to the bathroom. I trembled as I brushed my teeth, finally just finishing with my finger. I looked over at her hairbrush, released my ponytail, and brushed my hair, closing my eyes,
remembering how she brushed my hair when I was a little girl. My cell phone vibrated in my back pocket. It was Vivian.
Today 11:35 AM
Hey…how are you holding up?
Vivian
I sent her a text back.
I’m hanging in there. Can I call you later?
Jenesis
Sure…love you.
Vivian
Ditto.
Jenesis
“Jenesis, are you okay?” I heard Uncle Mike on the other side of the bathroom door.
“Yeah…I’ll be right out.” I placed my hair back up in a ponytail and walked out of the bathroom. Uncle Mike was standing in front of the door.
“Let’s sit at the kitchen table.” I motioned for him to follow me to the kitchen. “Please sit.”
“Your mother was a wonderful woman,” he said softly, staring at me with grief stricken eyes.
“Thank you. I never thought I would be sitting here with you at this age,” I gasped as my tears began to flow without recognition. My unexpected burst of tears caught me off guard, and I used my sleeve to wipe my eyes.
“Death is an unexpected thing, Jenesis. We just don’t know when we’re going to go.” He scrambled through his briefcase and placed some papers on the table. “Your mother was my friend
since the 3rd grade. I always knew Bobby was wrong for her, since the day they met.” His facial structure changed. You could see the tension in his face and the discomfort in his eyes.
“Why?”
“He was a drunk back then.”
“In the third grade?”
“No, in high school. Your mother fell so head over heels in love with him; it was like…he had some sort of magic spell over her. She couldn’t pry herself away from him. As many times as he hit her, she ran back into his arms.”
Hit her? You mean, he hit her back then, too? I thought to myself as I sat up straight in my chair glued to the words that rolled off of his tongue.
“All these years, I thought…I was the reason he hated my mother. I thought he didn’t want to have any kids. I thought maybe he wanted a boy.” My heart was crushed. I felt confused, and I could feel the bulge in my throat choking me.
“That bastard hated himself. His father was a Christian man whose life revolved around