loves you fine,â she said.
âThen why do you keep me a secret?â
âI donât keep you a secret, Rodney. That doesnât even make sense.â But she was lying. She saw exactly what he was trying to say, and it broke her heart.
âI think maybe I got a demon in me.â
She reached for him and pulled him close. âNow, who told you such a thing?â
He shrugged. âI figured it out. Folks say when the storms come itâs because of sin. I canât think of no sin to explain what happens to me, so maybe Iâm just a demon.â
She squeezed him tighter. âSsh, I donât want you to talk like this, Rodney. Itâs foolishness. You are a little boy, not a demon.â
He nodded and buried his head in the crook of her neck.
âWhat if Momma told you we were going to leave this place, baby? What if I said you and me and Mary were going to go someplace nicer, someplace where there wasnât no storms?â
He shook his head violently.
âNo.â
âWhy not, Rodney?â
âI donât want to die. Otto says the Lord will take vengeance upon those that abandon this place.â
Trudy was stunned. She had no idea Rodney had been absorbing all of this. It shouldnât have surprised her, because his perception was uncanny sometimes, but it had never crossed her mind to consider how all the talk about Godâs wrath might be affecting her son.
âPromise me weâll never leave, Momma.â
âRodney, I canât promise that. We . . .â
He squirmed out of her arms, and she was surprised by his strength. He sat back and glared at her. âPromise me or Iâll scream.â
Trudy was aghast. He hadnât done this in years. When he was much younger, he used to make her do things with these sorts of threats. She had hated giving in to them, but he could scream in such a terrible, soul-killing way that she often did anyway.
âYou will not,â she said, trying to be in control.
But she was wrong because he did, and it was awful, so awful she grabbed him and shook him hard, probably too hard, but he wouldnât stop.
âOkay,â she said. âI promise. I promise we wonât leave.â
He stopped immediately and fell into her arms.
17
But she had lied to him. If anything, her desire to leave grew stronger. She spent her days imaging how it would go, waking up in the middle of the night, going to the childrenâs room and shaking them awake. Sheâd lie to them and say that they were going outside to see the stars or the moon. Once outside, sheâd get them moving with some promise or another. Theyâd make the road within an hour or two, and by then, Rodney might have realized what was happening, but theyâd be too far gone for anyone to hear his screams.
Sometimes she fantasized about going over to Benâs place and asking him to come with them. She knew it was foolish because she didnât really love him. She
couldnât
love him, she knew, as long as he bought into what was happening here, but if he rejected it too, if he agreed to come with her, she thought that might change things. Still, he had his own family to think about. She shook her head, dismissing such ideas.
She decided they would leave in one week. That would give her some time to pack a bag, to plan, and though she didnât want to admit it to herself, a week would also give her plenty of time to talk herself out of it.
18
It was hard to say exactly what changed over the next week. There were no storms. In fact, the days were sunny and the nights warm, yet people stopped speaking to her, and when they saw Trudy coming near, they often exchanged looks and an awkward silence would ensue. She tried not to let it bother her. She tried to remind herself that she was leaving soon.
Except she had some doubts about that too.
Somehow the fact that nobody mentioned Simpson at all made his sudden departure