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told me, she won’t, but that’s exactly why I need to give her the next few years. I need her to be sure. I know there is no going back for me.
    “What about you, Luke?” That’s easy.
    “Make a difference. I don’t care how or doing what, but I want to make a difference in someone’s life. I’ve been thinking about going into to finance and getting my MBA, not just getting a business degree and taking over Dad’s real estate company. Then work in New York, maybe make some poor people rich.”
    “That’s so superficial and not you at all. You’ve already made a huge difference in so many lives, especially mine. How do you not see that? The real estate company isn’t anything to turn your nose up at. You could sell some young couple their dream house where they’ll raise their family; that is making a difference. You can do anything you want, but I wish you believed in yourself as much as I do.” I don’t have anything to say back to her. “New York, Luke? That’s so far.”
    I have to put it out there, “It is, but think about all the big stages you could dance on. I would watch every performance.”
    “Did you not listen to anything I just said? I’m not going to New York, Chicago, or anywhere else for big stages. I can dance here and still enjoy it. I won’t take someone else’s dream and substitute it for my own. I didn’t know when I was six, if I would make it to seven, or when I was ten if I would see eleven. But I had you, my parents, and your parents and tons of friends around. At each of those moments, I wanted to be like them. I want to be able to give my time and love to someone who needs it. Whether they’re sick, have family problems, emotional outbursts . . . I just want to be what you are to me to someone who needs it. I don’t need New fucking York to do that.” It’s on the tip of my tongue. I’m so close to telling her how much I want that for her. I want to give her the life she’s describing, but I bite my tongue. It’s stupid, and cowardly, and may end up costing me the life I want so desperately in the end.
    The rest of the afternoon is spent on idle chitchat. What teachers she is hoping to get next year, me explaining which ones she doesn’t, talking about my course load, and how it would be easy this first semester. I need to be sure I can handle college and don’t want to flunk out by Christmas. We try to make a schedule of when we will Skype, FaceTime or whatever but soon realize it’s futile without knowing her schedule. I reassure her it’ll work out and I’ll be home at least once a month.
    Dinner with our parents is uneventful, but with my mom teary and the uncomfortable tension I have seeing her parents after our meeting earlier, I have never been so glad to see the playhouse. It’s more cramped in here, and a bit too frilly for me to get comfortable but spending these last few hours together is worth it.
    “Twinkle, are you ever afraid of where your life may take you?”
    “No, I just don’t want to have any regrets. I want to live life to the fullest and enjoy everything it throws at me. We are only as good as our last adventure.”
    “What are you afraid of?”
    “Saying goodbye. Losing you.”
    “Hey, remember with every goodbye there’s always a chance for a hello. You won’t lose me, I promise. You’re engrained right here,” I tell her holding my hand over my heart.
    “Love you,” she tells me through her tears.
    “Love you, back,” I tell her honestly. I pull her out of the tiny chair and walk her to the door, promising to call her when I get to campus. I refuse to say goodbye, not wanting one of her fears to come true. I just hug her tightly, kiss the top of her head, and give her the biggest, fakest smile I can muster. I may be leaving her tomorrow, but I will always return for her.

Chapter 6
    Phoebe
     
    I examine myself in the mirror. I don’t notice a difference in my outward appearance, but I have gotten a lot stronger in the