uncomfortable, remembering he looked a fright when eating, and backed a little towards the table, but her eyes held him. Suddenly, she reached out her hand and stroked his cheek. So soft. He flinched and looked up at her in alarm. Just then, Michael burst through the scullery door with a jam jar in his hand. There was some jam on his face too.
âI tested all of them,â he said earnestly, âand this is the best one.â He looked from Gabriel to his mother. âHonestly, it is.â
âIs it, now? Well, thatâs just splendid.â His mother laughed. âWhy donât you two sit down and eat your pancakes before they get cold?â She seemed normal again and Gabriel was greatly relieved.
When they had finished their pancakes, Mrs Bradley asked, âDoes your mother know youâre here today?â
He shook his head. It was a strange question; he rarely told his mother where he went after school. âWhereâre you going?â Mother would sometimes ask. âNowhere,â he would answer, and it was usually left at that.
âTell her youâre welcome to come here and play with Michael at any time, will you?â she said, her eyes ablaze again.
He was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Michael, who had such a strange mother, but then he remembered her warm touch on his face and the flash of the deer. âThank you, Mrs Bradley, I will,â he said, knowing he wouldnât.
*
But of course, Mother found out anyway. Gabriel had just got back from Michaelâs on a damp evening a few weeks later when it was made clear, as he had always dreaded, that Michaelâs house, with its strange and yet familiar feeling and the soft, beautiful mother, was too private and positive an experience to last.
âYouâre never to go to that house again, do you hear me?â Her hands were hard on his shoulders and her face was too close; he could see the pores around her nose and smell the frustration on her voice.
âBut why?â For once, he felt he needed to assert himself. âMichaelâs my friend.â He was careful not say, âmy only friend.â
âYour
friend
?â A drop of her spit landed on his chin. âHe cannot be your friend â itâs ⦠unnatural.â
This was an argument he had heard before, although never from her. Suddenly, he wanted to shout, âItâs all your fault â youâre the unnatural one, giving birth to a freak!â But he didnât; he had learnt to control his impulses and never blame anyone else for his shortcomings. Instead, he stamped his foot and bleated, âBut he is! He is my friend â he has said so himself â I passed the test.â
She sighed and let go of his shoulders to cover her face with her hands. âHave you met Mr Bradley?â The anger had gone from her voice, but he could sense that this was somehow more important, and it frightened him.
âNo.â
âMrs Bradley?â
He hesitated; she was the most private part of it all â he did not want to give her up.
âAnswer me, Gabriel. What is she like?â
Her body is still and her face is alive. She moves like a tree in the wind ⦠or like a deer with the moon in its eyes. âSheâs lovely,â he whispered. How easy it was to betray under such threat. And still the blow, when it came, surprised him. She had never hit him before. His cheek burnt and he tried to swallow down the tears. He was trembling now and could not make sense of it all. In what way was he wrong
now
? He tore away from her and out of the house.
As he turned off the road, it began to drizzle and the lane was soon muddy underfoot. He didnât stop to open the gate on to the moor, but scissored over it, supporting himself with one hand. The turf and heather squelched as he ran. The wind that was blowing into the hole in his face resonated with his panting. Sheep huddled uselessly
James Chesney, James Smith
Katharine Kerr, Mark Kreighbaum