I was there when she found the damn thing. Shit.
I refuse to let her win this prank war, and right now, the numbers are in her favor.
***
RYE
“What the hell is that?” Wren asks, wrinkling his nose as he walks in.
“Mayonnaise and donuts,” I answer, looking at him as though it should be obvious. I squeeze in more of the nasty filling, imagining the look of pure disgusted horror she’ll have when she takes a big bite.
The donut swells, and I take the tube out to move on to the next.
“Are you using a calk gun to do that?” he asks through a snicker.
“I didn't exactly have anything else on hand.” I shrug, glancing around my office like that should be obvious, and then I look back down to resume the task at hand.
“So the girl puts a dirty movie on the side of your house and blows up a bottle of ketchup in your kitchen, and your idea of revenge is to give her gross donuts?” he asks, shaking his head in disappointment. “Weak.”
He doesn’t even know about the glitter explosion.
The donut idea is weak. But I need time to fully form something massive.
“The donuts are just part of the prank,” I lie, trying to save face. “There's more to come. What are you doing here?”
I look up from my sad donuts that now don’t feel good enough for the war. Damn him for ruining this for me.
“Just walked out on the blind date from hell. I love Tria and Ash for trying to get me back in the game, but I swear they are terrible at picking girls. Besides, I'm not really ready to date yet.”
Considering his ex-wife screwed his brother, I get that. What I don't understand is why he married her if he couldn't get past it.
“Better get a date for the weekend. Ash will have several girls at their party to set you up with otherwise. She does it to me every time, and she's terrible at picking girls. The last chick she set me up was smoking hot.”
I pause as I move a donut around, and Wren assumes that's the end of my statement. “Sounds brutal,” he mutters.
I laugh while getting back on track with filling all twelve of the surprise desserts.
“Her looks weren't the problem. The girl had a voice like she was on helium, and if I said something that sounded like the line of a song, she'd sing the whole song. This happened about every ten minutes. I was drunk and still couldn't tolerate it.”
Wren snickers while sitting down in front of me, and I close the lid on the pathetic prank. I’ll come up with something better when I have more time.
“Well, she keeps setting me up with nice girls. It doesn't matter how they look as long as they're nice. I'm not shallow by any means, but I don't want to go out on a date with a girl who has more muscle than I do no matter how nice she is. This last girl could have bench-pressed me.”
I burst out laughing while leaning back in my chair, and he continues. “The girl before that had an issue with the number four. I don't know why either. But she'd count her steps and jump over the fourth step as though there was an invisible hole in the way. And I couldn't say four words or words that had only four letters. That did it for me, because if I want to say fuck, then I'm going to say fuck. Oddly enough, she told me it wouldn’t work between us because my name only had four letters. Yes, I was dumped by her.”
My laughter grows while he smiles. Ash is a sweet girl with a real big heart. She just tries too hard to make us find what she and Tag have. She keeps having faith in me when no one else does. It's sweet, but she's crazy if she thinks the love they have is for everyone.
What they have would give most people hope. But I’ve seen the nasty side of love, the dark side most people don’t even whisper about. Love isn’t something I want or need in my life.
Besides, my life is good—no rules, no drama, no problems. I can get what I need when I need it, but I don't have to have someone in my house all the time.
“Which is why I'm here,” Wren says, confusing me