Read Brains for the Zombie Soul (a parody) for Free Online Page B

screen.
    The air was cold and it was snowing. Johann
discovered that he wasn’t wearing anything more than a torn t-shirt
and pants that were missing a leg. He wrapped his arms around
himself, but his own touch was cold. No matter what he did, he
couldn’t warm himself up.
    He walked to a nearby house and knocked on the
door. “Please, can I come in and warm up?” he asked the lady that
answered.
    She screamed, “Ah, zombie!” and chased him away
with a rolling pin.
    Although he was cold and tired, somehow he found
the energy to walk to the nearest town. Everyone was going to a
well-lit tavern. He followed them in, went to the bar, and asked,
“Please, can you spare a cup of hot tea?”
    The bartender answered, “We don’t serve zombies
here. Get out!”
    At this point, he was cold, tired, and hungry.
He wandered down an alley and looked through the dumpsters for
something to eat. The only thing he could find was a dead rat. He
didn’t have any way to make a fire to cook it over, but he was so
hungry he ate it raw. It was disgusting.
    Under some boxes he found in the dumpster, he
sat down in a corner and rested his head against the brick wall,
attempting to sleep. Heels clicked as a man walked down the alley,
and Johann tried to hide under his boxes for fear of getting
attacked.
    But the man came up to him and said, “You poor
boy. Come with me.” The man lead him to a big house merely blocks
away. He gave him hot cocoa and a freshly cooked meal of turkey and
potatoes. Johann sat by the fire as he ate. When his stomach was
full, he fell asleep in the big comfy chair.
    When he woke up, he was back in the theater. He
realized that the man in his dream was the same as the man who gave
him the ticket. The movie was almost over, but his tub of popcorn
was nearly full. He looked around the dark theater and found the
zombie sitting a few rows over. Without disturbing the other people
watching the movie, he made his way over to the zombie and said,
“Here, you can have this,” and handed him the popcorn and soda.
    “Thank you,” the zombie whispered. Johann sat
next to the zombie for the rest of the movie, and enjoyed spending
time with him.
    As they left, he said, “I’m sorry for making fun
of you earlier. Would you like to come over for supper?”
    “I’d like that very much,” replied the zombie,
and they became the best of friends.

    (back to
TOC)

    ****

    Zombies and Geeks
    In my sophomore year of high school we moved
to a new town due to my dad’s job. My old high school was a big
school, and even when I felt like an outcast, I could still just
blend into the crowd.
    This new school was small, with only one tenth
of the students that my old high school had. Everyone knew each
other already, and most had gone to school together their entire
lives. It was just as bad, if not worse, than any other time I had
been the new kid.
    Although it was large, there weren’t a whole lot
of undead kids in my old school. But this new school was at least
half zombies.
    In my Spanish class, there was one zombie girl
that sat in the back of the class with her clique of friends. They
wore tons of makeup to try to mask their pale complexions. One girl
was even wearing a wig. Their clothes were designer, which I found
strange for zombies.
    I took a seat in front of these girls and said,
“Hello,” but they ignored me. They talked constantly during class,
and when I handed a paper back to the girl behind me, she rudely
snatched it out of my hands.
    My next class was Biology, and I took a seat in
the back corner of the classroom. The girl from Spanish class
walked in right before the bell and sat down at the desk next to
me. Apparently her friends didn’t have this class with her. I held
out my hand and said, “Hi, I’m Kelsey. I think we have Spanish
together.”
    She didn’t shake my hand. Instead, she gave me a
disdainful, “Um, hi,” and looked straight ahead, ignoring me for
the rest of class. When the teacher