Read Brains for the Zombie Soul (a parody) for Free Online Page A

zombie hunter insisted that since he was a
zombie, he couldn’t be injured, and the hospital couldn’t help. But
the doctors won out, insisting that he was not well enough to
travel but he was rehabilitating.
    Meanwhile, the hunters were able to capture the
three youngest girls and their mother. They were put on a train
headed to one of the camps. The locals sabotaged the train, making
it derail just outside of town. In the commotion, the rest of the
family was able to escape.
    The town proudly stood their ground, protecting
their zombie residents. They still stand by all the zombies in
their town to this day.

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TOC)

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    The Neighbors
    One
time, a zombie was walking in front of his neighbor’s house and he
accidentally dropped an important piece of paper. He didn’t realize
it as he was hurrying on his way.
    His neighbor was watching out the window at the
time. He saw the zombie drop the paper, which floated onto his
lawn. Thinking, “That dirty zombie, getting litter all over my
yard,” he planned his revenge.
    That night, he went over to the zombie’s house
with his wastebasket and dumped the contents all over the zombie’s
driveway.
    When the zombie woke up in the morning, he found
the trash all over his property. Most of it was his neighbor’s junk
mail, but he also found the important paper that he had dropped. It
was ripped to pieces. He thought the neighbor had deliberately
stolen the paper from him and then destroyed it.
    The zombie called a butcher friend of his and
said he would take all the meat scraps off of his hands. He had
them delivered by a dump truck into the neighbor’s driveway.
    The neighbor responded by gathering paper sacks
of dog poop from all the houses in the area that had dogs. He lined
the zombie’s yard with them and set them all on fire.
    Then the zombie got revenge by releasing
hundreds of cockroaches, termites, and carpenter ants into his
neighbor’s house.
    Then the neighbor called a sorcerer and had a
tornado and rainstorm planted over the zombie’s house.
    Soon, both of their houses were damaged so much,
they could no longer live in them. They both had to stay in a local
shelter while they saved up the money to fix their houses.
    At the shelter, the zombie and the man were
forced to stay in a room together. When they found out they
couldn’t continue to seek revenge on each other, they were forced
to actually talk together.
    They found they were very similar, and soon
became great friends. By working together, they were able to fix
both houses in a very short period of time so they had somewhere to
live again.
    They continued to help each other out and became
lifelong friends.

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TOC)

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    Movie Star
    Johann
was a rich little boy with a good life. His dad was a doctor, and
his mom stayed at home to be with him, so he always had everything
he wanted.
    On Saturday, he went to the movies like he
normally did. He showed up right before the movie was about to
start. As he got there, a poor zombie boy had just bought a ticket.
“Thank you,” said the zombie boy to the man in the ticket booth.
“I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a long time, and I’ve been
saving for weeks for this ticket.”
    When Johann got to the ticket booth, he was told
that the movie was sold out. So he cornered the zombie boy and
demanded his ticket. “You’re dead,” he said. “You don’t need to see
movies any more. Give me your ticket and go back to the grave you
came from.”
    This made the zombie boy cry, but still he
refused to give up his ticket. A well-dressed man in line pulled
Johann aside and said, “Here you go boy, I have an extra
ticket.”
    “These zombies,” Johann said, “take everything
from us living people who deserve it. I’m glad you’re not one of
those zombie lovers.”
    He got a big tub of popcorn and a soda, and went
to the theater to take his seat. But when he sat down, he felt a
pull in his stomach, and he was sucked up into the