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wonderful
organic salads. Shall we meet there at eight?”
    ‘Wonderful,” he echoed. “Organic
salads. Yum. I can hardly wait.”
    “Right then.” Cathy rubbed her
hands together. “Now we’ll make sure you earn your supper. Come
with me, Mr Dempster, and let me introduce you to the latest in
gymnasium technology as we test your heart rate, blood pressure,
and cardio-respiratory endurance.”
    He whimpered quietly as he was
led away.
    There was sweating. Panting.
Lifting.
     
    When his sister called him that
night it took several rings for him to answer the phone.
    “They hurt me, Janice,” he
moaned in a frail voice.
    “What? Who hurt you? What
happened? Were you mugged? Are you all right?”
    “Yes, I’m all right,” he sighed,
“but I may never walk again. God, I’m sore all over.”
    “Why, Dennis? What on earth have
you been doing?”
    “I went to the gym. The woman
there gave me tests. She made me walk on a treadmill for hours and
hours and then forced me to lift stupidly heavy weights. And the
worst thing is she expects me to go back and do it again. And
again. And again!”
    “You went to a gym? Who are you
and what have you done with my brother! Sorry, that was mean. So
you actually went to a gym? Good for you, bro. What brought this
about?”
    “Well the guys from the theatre
were going and I sort of got swept along in the excitement. The
woman who’s shaping up the cast for Ladies Night said I
could go and train with them, no charge, and get fit.”
    “Are you sure she knows what
she’s doing? She shouldn’t have overworked you on your first day,
surely? Didn’t she start you off at a reasonable level of
exertion?”
    “Well, yes, she did. But I
wanted to impress her so I went twice as hard.”
    Janice’s snort came clearly down
the phone line. “You plonker! So all the pain you’re in is actually
self-inflicted? You’re a nut-job,” she said affectionately. “This
must be a special woman if you’ll go to those lengths to impress
her. What’s she like?”
    “Terrifyingly fit, for starters.
Reddish-blonde hair, nice eyes, small boobs, trim little waist, but
she’s strong as an ox. She hefted 15kg weights about with no effort
at all.”
    “Married or single?”
    There was a silence. “I have no
idea. I just assumed… oh hell, I may have got the wrong message
completely. I thought she must be single but I have no evidence to
support that assumption at all.”
    “Oh-oh, you’re getting all
pompous like you do when you’ve done something stupid. What’s going
on?”
    “Well she kind of invited me out
for dinner tomorrow night, and I assumed it would be just her and
me – but what if she brings a husband along? I’ll feel like a spare
wheel. And besides,” he said with some asperity, “I’m damned if I’m
suffering through a dinner of organic salads just for an evening of
social chitchat.”
    “But you’d put up with the salad
if it was just you and her? Interesting.”
    “Don’t start. I’m in a weakened
state and it’s unfair to tease me.”
    “Oh you big girl’s blouse! Never
mind – here’s my suggestion. Have something to eat beforehand so
you’re not wilting from hunger with only a salad to look forward
to, and try to be prepared for whoever turns up. If it’s a happy
couple, at least you’re making new friends. If it’s just – what’s
her name?”
    “Cathy. That’s all I know, and
the gym is called Intensity.”
    “OK, if it’s just Cathy that
turns up, you’ll have a date for the evening, plus the added bonus
that she’ll think you’re a good healthy eater because you won’t be
pigging out in front of her. It’s a win/win, bro.”
    He brightened. “Thanks, sis,
that makes me feel a lot better. “ He shifted position and squawked
in pain. “Ow! Now I just have to worry about whether I’ll be able
to walk to the table without crying like a girl.”
    “Duh! Take some painkillers, you
doofus!”
    The next night he was happy to
recall