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such crude
questions,” Vivien said. “But I had to know. I had to be sure. And anyone else
who enters my service will have to pass the same test.”
    Doril gave their hands a furtive
and slightly uncomfortable glance, so Vivien let go. Grabbing both sides of her
dress, Doril offered a small curtsy.
    “Please, Dame Vivien. You do not
need to be sorry. Of course you need to be sure of the people around you. If I
may be blunt, I expected to be asked to swear an oath to you when I first
returned to the castle.”
    “An oath?” Vivien repeated. “You
mean, like my guards?”
    Doril nodded. “In times such as
these, it is not unheard of for all staff in a castle to swear. And should you
require it of me, I would be happy to take the oath.”
    The notion troubled Vivien, more
so than Doril would have understood if Vivien had tried to explain. She already
had issues understanding the oath to protect her that Brad and Aedan had sworn
when they’d been only children. She couldn’t imagine asking anyone else to
swear as well and tie their lives to hers.
    “No oath,” she said with another
small smile. “I trust you. And also… I don’t believe I thanked you for coming
back to the castle when you heard of my return. So there you go. Thank you. It
was brave of you, I do realize that. And I am grateful for your trust in me.”
    Had Vivien’s globe still been
hanging over them, it might have turned scarlet as she stretched the truth to
the point of breaking. No, she was not grateful for Doril’s trust. She didn’t
want anyone to put such faith in her when she hardly knew what she was doing.
    If she failed, if Rhuinn defeated
her in their upcoming duels, then anyone who had shown allegiance to her would
be in danger. It wasn’t anything she wanted to be responsible for, but she
hadn’t been given much choice. And as she watched Doril practically glow with
pride, she realized that her words, although not fully sincere, were
appreciated. It made it worth offering them.
    “Do you need anything else, my
lady?” Doril asked. “Will you need assistance getting dressed?”
    Vivien was almost proud of herself
when she managed not to grimace. That had been the hardest part for her about
having a handmaid, and she intended to dispense with one from now on. Or at
least she would dispense with one until Aedan nagged her into submission—again.
    “I’ll be fine,” she replied.
“Thank you. And thank you for my breakfast. You may go.”
    With another small bow, Doril left
the room. Vivien turned her attention back to the breakfast tray. The coffee
was no more than tepid now; the toast, cold. Still, she was famished, and
finished every last bit of food before washing up and getting dressed.
    She’d have liked to slide on a
tee-shirt and a pair of comfortable jeans, but she reminded herself that
everything was about appearances. If she couldn’t dress the part for the people
in her own castle and have them see her as queen, who would ever take her
seriously?
    It meant putting on one of her
mother’s dresses, one of the dresses Loree had altered to fit her before she’d
revealed herself as a traitor and murderer. Vivien would have to learn not to
think of that.
    She chose one of the simplest
dresses, with sleeves that stopped just past her elbows, a skirt that brushed
the floor, and very little embroidery. Most importantly, it fastened in the
front. It wasn’t an accident that it happened to be the same shade of blue as
Brad’s eyes.
    Next, she pinned the QuickSilver
insignia over her heart. She’d cleaned off Brad’s blood from the silver the
previous night before going to bed, polishing each swirl of the Celtic-looking
symbol, and the entire time thinking of the silver tattoo in the same shape
that glittered on Brad’s wrist.
    Thinking of Brad, too.
    When she looked at herself in the
mirror, she didn’t see a potential queen, or the dame in control of everything
like she had tried to act for Doril earlier. She only saw