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this feel so weird was the sense of vulnerability she
felt in the situation. She still couldn’t even fully register the
fact that her sister was here standing in front of her, yet with
only about an hour of getting reacquainted, time that hadn’t even
been very productive, Peg was forced to literally bare all. Zoey’s
eyes remained unfocused the entire time, which Peg couldn’t help
but feel was a blessing. Peg’s body was like a chronicle of all the
time they had spent separated. Here were the stretch marks from
when she had been pregnant. There were the tattoos that Peg had
added after Zoey’s disappearance. She was most self-conscious of
all about the various scars that criss-crossed her upper arms,
shoulders, and legs. Those were the self-inflicted wounds that had
slowly built up from all Peg’s cutting. Tony would sometimes run
his fingers over them during intimate moments, but Peg was never
quite comfortable with that. Those scars were hers, not to be
shared with anyone else. Now Zoey would be able to see them as
well.
    The awkwardness gave way to frustration as
Peg tried to scrub Zoey down. The scent of her Dove soap and Tony’s
Irish Spring thankfully started to overpower the stench Zoey had
come in with, but the crap that covered her was not easy in coming
off. The more she worked the more she was certain that she was
indeed putting her hands in shit, and soon the bottom of the tube
was caked in an ugly gray-brown smear even with the water running
over it. She ruined several loofahs and wash clothes, turning them
into crusty messes that she was sure no one would ever want to use
again. And still, despite all the scrubbing, some of it just would
not come off Zoey’s skin. It was as though the shit had been
permanently rubbed into her in some places, tattoos of the most
disgusting order.
    Finally Peg declared that this was all she
could do for now and turned off the water. The tub would need to be
cleaned now and she would still need to go around the house
cleaning off anything Zoey might have touched, but she was at least
in a semi-presentable state. Zoey looked down at herself, and
although she didn’t say anything she looked for a moment like she
was on the verge of a smile. Peg took that as a sign of
approval.
    “It’s a start at least,” Peg said. “I’m going
to get you some clothes, and then I have to leave.”
    The sound that escaped Zoey’s lips made it
clear that she was not comfortable with that.
    “I swear, it won’t take me more than fifteen
minutes. I have to go pick up my son.”
    Zoey blinked. “S…son? I don’t…” Zoey looked
her up and down as though truly seeing her sister for the first
time. “Peg? What did… I don’t understand.”
    “I really don’t either at this point,” Peg
said. “But we’ll figure it out, okay? I swear to you I won’t let
you down again.” The again slipped out against Peg’s wishes.
Years of therapy and group sessions were supposed to have drilled
it into her head by now that what had happened was not her fault,
but still she believed it on a deep, unreachable level.
    Peg led her into the living room and left her
there long enough to get some of her older clothes from her
bedroom. Nothing fit Zoey, considering she had always been a
smaller girl to start with and Peg had put on a few pounds here and
there, but she looked decidedly more normal even with the baggy
t-shirt and sweatpants hanging off her tiny frame. Zoey didn’t
appear very comfortable in them, making Peg wonder just how long it
had been since she’d worn something. It seemed ridiculous to think
that she might have been naked for eleven years, but then it seemed
ridiculous that she would be naked at all.
    “I’ll be right back then,” Peg said. “Just
stay here.”
    “It’s out there,” Zoey said. “He’s looking
for me.”
    A shiver crept through Peg’s body. This was
the first thing Zoey had said that might make some sense. “Who’s
looking for you, Zoey? Is it