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All this time, I hadn't thought about her. Mom. She was the whole reason I had come down here in the first place.  
    But I didn't know what to say.
    "And then that girl… What was her name? Heather? She came here looking like she had escaped from prison or a kidnapping. All she told me was that you loved me and when I asked for anything else, she started crying.
    "Do you know what that did to me? I thought you were dead! I thought you were…"
    Mom's sobbing choked out her voice. She squeezed me tight and her whole body shook, quaking with sadness.
    "Mom I'm…" I hesitated. It didn't seem enough to say, but what else was I supposed to do? "Mom, I'm sorry."
    Her high-pitched wails took on a new level of loudness. I reached my hands around and held her, rubbing her back gently.
    "I'm sorry," I said again. It seemed like I couldn't stop saying it. "I'm sorry."
    We stayed together like that for a long time. The only sounds were mom's crying and the birds chirping outside. It seemed strange. Why were the birds chirping? Didn't they know that my mom was sad?
    When she finally calmed down, mom slumped back into her seat. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her whole face was puffy and swollen. She sniffled, wiping her nose with a tissue. She looked exhausted.
    Mom crossed her arms and fixed me with a look.
    "Yeah, I know I'm chopped liver compared to Asher…"
    "Mom, you know that's not true! I-"
    Mom put up her hand, shushing me. She waited until I was quiet and then wagged her finger at me.
    "Nope, no arguing," she said. "I call it as I see it. I'm old enough to know when my daughter is in love. I just hope you make a better decision than I did."
    I dropped my head and stared at my lap. Suddenly, my cheeks were hot. They burned and my chest squeezed tight.
    "It's not like that," I said. "We're just-"
    "Friends," mom said. "Yeah, right. Look, I'm not going to force you to see what's right in front of your eyes."
    I clenched my fists. Why did she always have to be like that?
    "Anyway. Asher is fine."
    I raised my head and looked at her. "Really?"
    "Really," mom said and smiled. "He got treatment, and he's all patched up."
    "And Mav?"
    The smile left my mom's lips. "He lost a leg."
    "What?!"
    I started to get off the bed, but my mom pushed me down.
    "He's being taken care of," she said. "And it's my job to take care of you right now."
    She pressed against my shoulders until I lay back in the bed.
    "Now, I'm not going to ask about all the things that I'm sure happened while you were gone. All I'm asking you is to rest. Okay?"
    Mom kissed my forehead.
    "Okay," I said.
    She took my hand and squeezed it before pulling the covers up around me. I was a little too old to be tucked in by my mom, but still it felt good. Safe. Warm.
    Mom walked towards the door. Just before she closed it behind her, she turned around.
    "Welcome back home," she said and shut the door.

Chapter 13
    So I was back to the beginning. In my childhood bedroom. Teddy bears and old science trophies stared down at me from the shelves on the walls. Next to my head was still that poor old stuffed bunny.
    I picked it up and wanted to laugh. Its fur was matted, and it still only had one eye, but that didn't matter. As a child, I loved it anyway. Despite its scars.
    I stretched and my feet poked out from underneath the covers. They pressed against the wrought iron at the foot of my bed. I guess it only made sense.
    Before, I had felt that everything was the same. But it wasn't. I wasn't the same. I had grown up.
    And now, after everything that happened, what was different? Or was I still the same girl who came here riding on the back of a stranger's motorcycle?
    I pushed the covers off me and jumped off the bed. The yearbook. I wanted to look at that picture just one more time.
    It was exactly where it always has been, organized neatly on my bookshelf. I pulled out the thick, bound volume and worked my way through the letters.
    A, B, C… Clarkfeld. I dragged my finger down