there.” It’s the best I have for an explanation. “The people in their heads are what nightmares are made of, but it is impossible for me to have a nightmare with you as the bad person.”
He pauses, stopping himself from saying whatever he was about to. The answer pleases him. I can see the look on his face. “Safe?”
“You are the safe bad guy. If you’re him, I’m not scared, not truly. Not in my heart. You could do anything, and I would never be scared. Except maybe leave, I suppose. If you left me I would be scared.”
“Leave? Are you crazy?” He melts as every one of his muscles loses its tension. “So you want me to be the bad guy to keep you safe in there?”
I nod, hating that I’ve shown him this piece of it all, but loving the smile that’s spreading across his lips. “So you want us to be the way we are? We don’t have to change it up? You aren’t bored? You don’t want me to be a bad guy?”
“Of course not.” I shake my head slowly, unsure of the reaction. Is he mocking me? Or is he high? Clearly he hasn’t ever thought about what it’s like for a girl to meet a guy like him. I could never be bored, except when I take the job with the profiling section, but that won’t ever be about him.
He scoops me up, pressing my lips against his. I sigh into the kiss, wishing we could stay here, but knowing I have to have the answer. I need the happy ending. I need to know why and who and where. His tongue lazily slips into my mouth as his hand lowers, gripping my butt cheek. “Tell me.”
I have to close my eyes to say it, because it’s like wishing when you blow out a candle; if you peek, the wish is broken. “I love you.”
Dash smiles, changing the way his lips sit against mine. “I love you more.”
I smile back, scared of the thing I’m about to say. “Except I made you the safe guy way before we ever dated. So clearly, I love you more, Benjamin Dash.”
He shakes his head. “See you after?”
“Yup.” We kiss once more before he puts me down. I turn, waving backward and stalking back into the room where the small girl is slumbering after being brought in with severe hypothermia and more broken bones than anyone would think they had in their body. What a way to spend Thanksgiving weekend, dying in a medical lab while being experimented on.
I climb back onto the table as Angie comes hurrying back in. “I need ya to focus, Jane. This is going to be a quick reinsertion. A third time in the same girl is unheard of.” She leans forward, whispering, “And between me and you, we don’t think she’s going to make it. She’s being switched to life support. Her brain activity flashes only when yer in there. She’s a vegetable, and I don’t know how easy it’s going to be to go rooting around in a dying girl.”
I give her a look. “You know it feels different this time. Like I know too much going in. So maybe it’s that she’s brain-dead, and I’m just making up the story.”
She turns back to the large mirror where everyone is watching. “Right, and I suppose having a jackarse mess with the recording because his moronic friend pointed out he’s always the bad guy doesn’t help. Does it?”
“Rory brought that to Dash’s attention?” I whisper and shake my head, looking at the glass. I’m sure my face betrays the fact I don’t understand what she means, I don’t understand why he would do that to me, he’s my partner.
She rolls her eyes. “Och, ya dinna think that Dr. Charming found that information all on his own, did ya?” She leans in, whispering so they can’t hear us. “I’ll whip Rory later for ya. He’s really just a meddling old woman in that sexy body of his.” She winks and attaches the monitors to my chest and head. “Must be some of that Irish treachery brewing in those veins.”
I swallow hard. “Why would he do that? He was the only person who knew everything.”
“Welp, I imagine he thinks he was trying to help, doesn’t want ya