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you are.
    I rolled my eyes at his thoughts.   “You’re acting quite protective of someone you treat like a little sister, Robert.”
    I saw his eyes flash with anger, and I admit that I enjoyed it.   I was tired of him playing the good angel.   Though I had been frightened and distrusting of his dark calling, there were moments I wish that a little bit of that darkness would come out so that he’d stop being so controlled and contained.
    Grace.   This isn’t just about me, you know.
    I snorted in disbelief.   “Oh really?   Then please, tell me how this isn’t just about you.   Tell me how I’m benefiting from this little arrangement because from where I’m sitting, it looks like I’m getting the short end of the stick.”
    Robert took my hand and placed it against his face, sighing with contentment.   I sighed, too.   It never felt normal, the way my skin tingled whenever we made contact.   It always vibrated with an unseen energy that wound around and through me, a current of pure feeling that never felt like enough.
    That is exactly how I feel, Grace.   But it’s worse for me, because I feel it from you as well.   You don’t know how incredibly blissful it is, to feel your softness, your warmth against my flesh.   He held my hand still as he turned his face inward and kissed the palm of my hand.   I heard the intake of my breath, but it fought for a spot with the pounding of my heart as it thrummed inside of my chest; the current rippled all through me and I had to bite my tongue to keep from groaning out loud.
    “You’re going to kill me, Robert.   I swear on everything that’s valuable, you’re going to kill me dead.”
    Robert let out a snort, and I knew that my exaggeration had done nothing to sway him to my cause.   You can always agree to my changing you, and we won’t have that problem.
    I threw myself back against my pillow and groaned.   My head didn’t even touch it as he snatched me mid-fall and pulled me against his chest.   “Why are you bringing that up again, Robert?”
    I felt him kiss my hair, felt the puff of air as he sighed.   I dream of waking up and finding you’re not there.   I fear the day when I hear the call … and it’s because it’s you.
    I felt that irritating sting of moisture prick my eyes; I had felt that fear manifest into something scary and monstrous in myself when he had been the one to die.   To think of him experiencing that same pain himself was almost worse.   I turned my head and placed my ear on his chest, the evidence of his death silent and still beneath the skin and bones that cradled it.   I heard only the echo of breath in his chest, and I squeezed my eyes shut against the memories that leapt out of the dark recesses of my mind, taunting me with their hint at what lay ahead for me.
    “I don’t want to think about it,” I cried into his shirt, my voice muffled against his chest.   “I don’t want to think about anything.   I just want you to hold me, and tell me that you love me.”
    The circle of arms around me pulled me as tightly against his chest as humanly possible and he whispered the three words, while thinking them at the same time, my own personal echo.   I reached my arms up to wrap around his neck and pull myself up, needing to feel something other than the rise and fall of his chest, or the strength wielded in his embrace.   I needed to feel the unnatural heat from his lips, his breath tickling my skin, his nose nudging against mine.
    I can’t, Grace.
    “ Yes, you can.   You just don’t want to,” I whispered as I inched closer to my goal.   I needed to ease my way there, and I began by kissing his neck.   The column of muscle that flexed there in distress seemed to beg for attention, and so I gave it.   I kissed it softly, gently.   My lips worked their way towards the curve of his jaw, and kissed along the ridge until I came to the dip between his lower lip and his chin.
    I inhaled as he breathed out,