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pants and you can sort of see the outline of it, so yeah, I guess you could say it’s pretty big.”
    Ashley took this information in and then shrugged. “Well then I got some good news and I got some bad news.”
    “Bad news first, okay?”
    “Bad news is that it’s gonna hurt like hell at first. Good news is it will hurt less and less each time and before long you gonna be glad he’s packing down there. Trust me. I’ve been with some little dicked men and no matter how well they use their tongues it just never makes up for the lack of inches. And you can take that to the bank, girl. Size isn’t the only thing, but it’s damn near the most important.”
    I couldn’t help but laugh. A lot of the stress that had been building inside me had begun to dissipate. Not only had I been working myself up over the virgin thing but ever since I’d said yes to Tyler’s dinner request he’d been looking at me with a hunger in his eye. Sort of letting me know with his eye contact just how much he wanted me. At first I was shy about the whole thing but after a few times I started to let my eyes do some talking as well. And they told my boss that I found him sexy as hell and I couldn’t wait to kiss him. To be held by him. To be consumed by him.
    “You still with me?” Ashley said with snap of her fingers. “Or are you in lala land thinking about Mr. Big Shot again?”
    I sighed. “Sorry Ash, I just can’t help it. This damn man has me all twisted up.”
    Ashley sucked her teeth and laughed.
    “Yeah well just wait until you get a taste of that dick and see how twisted up you gonna get.”
     

 
    3
     
     
     
    I struggled to fall asleep Thursday night and when I finally did soon I was dreaming about Tyler. Unlike my previous dreams this one was something of a nightmare, for Tyler was anything but gentle with me. I dreamed I was in his penthouse and he had me pressed against his hallway wall a hungry look in his eye. I struggled to free myself from his grasp but it was useless. The more I fought the tighter he squeezed my hand. I remember screaming for him to stop, telling him I wasn’t ready for this sort of thing. Couldn’t he tell I was just an innocent little girl? But he just laughed at me and pressed on, ripping my clothes off and having his way with me.
    I woke up gasping for air and checked the alarm clock. It was nearly 2am. My nightmare had lasted all of an hour but my nightgown was soaked with sweat. My panties were drenched as well. I reached down and touched myself, grimacing at my swell. Was what I just experienced a nightmare, or my true carnal nature revealing itself? Had I been pretending all these years to be a good girl, when in fact I’d secretly wanted to be manhandled and treated like a whore by some man old enough to be my dad?
    I took a sip of water and tried to fall back asleep, tossing and turning for what seemed like the rest of the night. Finally at six my alarm went off and I stepped out of bed. Was I really going to go through with this? Was I finally going to become a woman? I took a deep breath and tried to stay in the moment. I didn’t have to make a decision right now, did I? I could go and have dinner and decide then. Maybe Tyler wouldn’t even make a move on me. Maybe he just wanted to have dinner and once he got to know me he would deduce that I was a virgin and decide to cast me aside. Why would a man like Tyler want to waste his time on an old fashioned girl like me?
    I forced myself to eat a small breakfast; orange juice and a hard boiled egg and then jumped in the shower. I shaved every inch of my body, making sure I was as smooth as possible, just in case of course. I packed my overnight back with a semi-short skirt, a thin blouse and my sexiest black panties.
    Just in case, of course.
    Then I was out the door and on my way to work. How I was supposed to make it through the day I had no idea but I would do my best. The train was packed, as usual, but I barely noticed. All I