Read Bill 7 - the Galactic Hero for Free Online

military establishment had anything against the people of Eyerack. It was only the government, and even then only a very small group of the top leaders of the government, who would be bombed into submission. Of course, it was inevitable that some small number of those who had taken up arms against their loving Emperor might be accidentally blown to smithereens, but in modern total warfare a small number of casualties — say, five or ten — could not be helped.
    Had this been an ordinary planet in rebellion, the normal practice would have been to blow it up. Careful studies had been done at the Runt Corporation, the Emperor's favorite think tank, about the different possible ways of removing the cancer of rebellion from the body politic. Blockade was no good; it took a long time, there were no dramatic opportunities for press conferences and briefings in front of colorful maps, and pictures of the action wouldn't even make the back pages of the newscomix without an order from the Imperial Office of Freedom of the Press. Negotiation was even worse; it had all the faults of blockade, plus it showed weakness, since only weaklings talked first and shot later. Sometimes the Fleet would negotiate after a battle, but only if they could find a few prisoners, something that happened quite rarely. Only blowing up a rebellious planet provided a quick and guaranteed solution, as well as pictures that deserved front-page coverage. It was right there in the officers' manual — “If a planet rebels against the Emperor, blow it up.”
    But Eyerack was different. Eyerack had something that no other planet in the galaxy had. Eyerack had a neutron mine.
    Neutrons, as everyone knows, are very, very small. They are so small, in fact, that you could walk right past one on the street and never see it. And they aren't very sociable, so you don't often find more than a hundred or so together. But you need a great many neutrons to make a neutron bomb.
    Of all the weapons humanity had ever invented, the absolute favorite of all the Generals and admirals and field marshals was the neutron bomb. It blew up real good, made a pretty picture that kept the Emperor happy, killed all the enemy soldiers (and sometimes some friendly ones, although that was a minor point), and left all the hardware unharmed.
    What could be better?
    So Eyerack was very important. Without the Eyerackian neutron mines, there could be no more neutron bombs. And if Eyerack was blown up, it would be very hard to find the mines. They might even be lost forever.
    But for the time being the Empire couldn't have any neutrons anyway, because of this rebellion thing.
    Somehow, someone had made a terrible mistake. The entire Office of Neutron Procurement had been drafted, court-martialed, and shot for not paying enough attention. While they had been napping, Eyerack had held free elections.
    This, by itself, would have been enough to cause a crisis throughout the halls of power. Free elections had been banned centuries ago, under the Edict for the Preservation of Freedom and Democracy. But it was even worse than that.
    If free elections were not bad enough, the Eyerackians had overwhelmingly voted for peace.
    The only use for neutrons was in making neutron bombs — for killing people.
    No more neutron exports! was the cry of the peace party. No more war!
    For the empire, there was only one possible response.
    A nice, clean, quick, precise, deadly attack. A surgical strike, cutting out the bad and leaving the good. With maybe every one on the other side killed so there would be no worry about any future problems. The Empire needed those neutron mines back but quick, and in working order so the Chinger War could be continued and expanded. So what it needed at once if not sooner, was ruthless dedication and an officer who would stop at nothing. Other than peace. It called for General Weissearse. Now General Weissearse was calling for Bill.
    “Yes, Bill, the Lord hath provideth thee in my