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was supposed to represent an arm with a hand, but we’d had it made out of a piece of car hood from the scrap metal pile and it hadn’t come out that great. No one cared. The trophy meant nothing, it was all about the conquest. The fight to the top.
    I decided to go to his room, his
new
room with Billie, and wait. He was going to have to try harder to get rid of me.
    He surprised me by showing up shortly after I arrived. He strode over to me confidently, like he’d been expecting to see me. Good, then he wanted to talk, too.
    â€œCan we talk?” I asked quietly as he approached.
    He didn’t answer, but stabbed his fingers across the keyboard to open the door and left it open for me to follow him in. He closed the doors, threw his trophy on the bottom bed, and leaned against the wall. I looked at the bunk beds that must have been moved in just so he could stay here. They crowded the room, and it felt like the air got thick with the tension between us. It didn’t feel right to sit. Maybe this wasn’t the best place to talk.
    â€œSay what you have to say, I’m not going to wait all day,” Chance said, with his head hanging slightly, arms folded across his chest.
    â€œI’m still sorry. I just don’t get why you did it, when you know what I want for my life. I’m not going to change my mind when we get down there. You know that, right?”
    He looked up at me. “Yeah, I didn’t expect you to. All I wanted was for us to say that we’re starting out together. I felt like, if I’m sure, if I’m sure it’s you, you’re the one for me, then I should say so.” His face twisted as he said the words and sadness filled his eyes.
    The kind words made me feel like I was awful for not saying yes. “Did you want me to say yes if I didn’t mean it?” I said as carefully as I could.
    â€œNo, but that’s the point,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.
    I shook my head. He closed his eyes tight, then opened them, and said, “You could’ve broken it to me easier, but you were only thinking about you. Only about what’s important to you. And obviously whatever it is…it outweighs how much you care about me.” He was starting to get nasty, his words coming out laced with anger.
    â€œThat’s not true,” I said, “I love you, you know that.” I wanted those words to change the tension between us, but his anger didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
    â€œI don’t care! Hope. I’m always thinking of you, always trying to make sure you’re happy. You treat me like I’ll always be there but you forget that I have options, too.”
    The thought of him with someone else, that he could even think it, hit me like a slap. He was right, I’d never thought about him wanting someone else more than me. And it made me feel sick.
    But he was wrong about one thing, I didn’t want anyone else, and I didn’t care about options being taken away. Not boy options, anyway. The thing was, I had to be able to be myself while we were together, and I had so much to figure out.
    I tried to start, tried to formulate the right thought that would make this all okay, “Chance, this has been one big misunderstanding. If we can just…”
    He cut me off. “You’re not getting it. What happened here. There is no
we
anymore. I can’t do this. If you don’t know now, how can I be sure you’ll ever know? You don’t get to keep me around just to make yourself feel better. I have things I want to do, too. And they no longer include you.”
    His words hung in the air. I watched him warily. “What does that mean?”
    He turned and slammed his fist into the wall. “It means…I don’t want to see you any more. I don’t want you in my life. As of T.D., we’re done, for good.”
    My throat closed and I choked on a slightly surprised sound that came out of my