glass far too quickly.
‘I love three women in my life,’ he said, indignant at my labelling of him. ‘One is my mother. One is my first love when we are at school. One is my wife.’
‘What? You’re married?’
‘She leaves me when my business fails. I am alone now.’
‘Oh, shit, I’m sorry. That must have been hard on you.’ I felt absurd drunken tears prick the corner of my eyes. Poor János, losing his investment and his love all at the same time. I wanted to hug him, stroke his unruly hair, hold him close to me. ‘Do you have children?’
‘I want them, but she say she is too young. She is model, very beautiful. She is in America now. Anyway, we don’t talk about me. I’m not the one who is giving up on life. I still have hope and passion. What about you?’
‘I have my self-respect and a healthy bank balance.’ I laughed miserably. ‘Wow. Rock and roll. So, if you’ve only loved two women – apart from your mother – does that mean you’ve only slept with two women?’
He shook his head, twinkling his eyes at me. ‘Maybe one or two more,’ he conceded.
‘Jodie for one.’
‘And you?’
‘Two. Dave and this guy I was obsessed with in college. He let me down. Really badly. Really broke my heart.’ Oh God, to my utter horror, I was crying, properly. ‘It’s the wine,’ I said hastily as he made a move towards me. ‘Too much wine. Let’s have another glass.’
‘You are already drunk.’
‘Let’s dance again!’
Sometime during our conversation, a 60s covers band had struck up at the far side of the bar. A few people were shuffling in a hipsterish manner around the cobbles.
I tried to pull János up. He seemed reluctant, but he stood and grabbed hold of me, keeping me from swaying too much.
The music was loud and distorted, people’s faces whizzed past and the starry sky above whirled and loomed. I felt horribly sick. I was going to have to sit down.
‘Got to … sit … down.’
And that was where the evening ended.
Chapter Four
SOMETHING WAS THROBBING, HORRIBLY, behind my left eyebrow and I needed a drink more than I had ever needed anything in my life.
Once my eyes unglued themselves I noticed, with a huge surge of gratitude, that a large glass of water stood on the nightstand.
Priority number one dealt with, other needs peeked out from behind it, layers and layers of them. The need for pain relief. The need to go back to sleep. The need to dispel the vile taste at the back of my throat. The need to know who had taken off my high heels and put me into bed … oh.
I propped myself up on my elbows and squinted around the room. No sign of him.
I hated myself for checking that my knickers were still on – he really wasn’t that kind of man, was he? – but I still did it. Numerous tales of spiked drinks and their aftermaths had made their impression on me.
I appeared to be untampered with, however, so I made the tentative first step out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush my furry, acid-burnt teeth.
Fuck, I must have thrown up at that kert. How very sophisticated and cosmopolitan of me. What a loser.
I scrubbed the brush viciously up into my defenceless gums until it drew blood. What must János think of me? The thought was agony and yet it shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have cared what he thought. He was just a guy I’d never see again after I left this town. It shouldn’t matter. But it did.
I drank near enough half a bottle of mouthwash then I sat down in the shower and let the water hide me for a long, long time.
Once I was dressed in my most comfortable jeans and T-shirt, I braved the living room.
It was empty. He wasn’t here. Good.
I think. Actually, I might have been a little disappointed, but on the whole, it was a relief.
I made a beeline for the Advil and then the coffee and lay on the sofa while it percolated, wondering if there was any way to blot the previous evening’s events from history. It was so unlike me to lose control