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do. That’s why I give it.”
    Marty gathered his bag and gave me one last smile before he walked out
leaving me feeling something I hadn’t ever felt before with a man: cared for.

CHAPTER 4
     
    The next week I had a photo shoot and a presentation that I couldn’t
miss. Barbara assured me that she was ok and there was nothing I could do
before our next appointment with Dr. Rosenberg. It was the first time that she
wasn’t playing the helpless female. I couldn’t help but feel guilty, but I was
grateful for work as a distraction and threw myself into it even more than
usual.
    Tom and I had been working on a new makeup account called “Illusion”.
We were shooting a semi-naked model behind frosted glass and in post we would
bring out her features with the makeup. It was a closed set but still, most of
the guys in the office teased that they for some reason or another needed to be
there. It was all good-natured fun and in the end given the racy nature of the
shoot it was just me, Dave, the photographer, the makeup artist and the model.
Marty had chosen the photographer, so while I didn’t know him, I’d had
conversations over the phone with him prior to the shoot to discuss lighting
and the overall idea and we’d agreed that for a shoot like this, the fewer
people the better.
    When I walked into the studio, Dave’s back was to me as he tested the
lighting with the model while she was still somewhat clothed. After a few shots
he looked up as I walked towards him to introduce myself. When I recognized him
from some drunken night, I felt all the blood drain out of my face. He did a
double take and then acknowledged me with a knowing smirk.
    “I thought your voice sounded familiar.”
    For a split second I thought about pretending like I didn’t recognize
him, but I was already dead in the water. “Um, yeah, so I’m Stephanie,” I said
lamely as I stuck out my hand to shake his. He seemed amused as he regarded my
outstretched hand for a moment and then after letting me twist for a few
seconds too long, shook it.
    “I didn’t think I got your name the first time I, um, met you.”
    I nodded and looked at the floor then back up at him and then anywhere
else. The model, the set, the monitor.
    “So you work for Marty?”
    “Mmmhmm.” I nodded. My mouth was so dry, my heart was beating so fast,
my palms were clammy. I felt trapped. I wasn’t sure how I could simultaneously
feel a million things and complete blankness run through my mind. So I stood
there as he seemed to enjoy watching me squirm. 
    “I’ve known him and a bunch of the guys at his agency for years. Small
world.”
    I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure if he was just making
conversation or an idle threat. There wasn’t anything I could say. I just stood
there mute as I wondered whether he’d tell the entire agency what I’d done with
him. I wasn’t even sure exactly just what that was. Or where. Or when. I just
knew that we obviously had been together. And I knew my old MO, so I doubt
there was much chit chat. I couldn’t change what I’d done. All I could do was
move forward. This was business, so that’s who I would be: his client, not some
pathetic slut he knew once.
    “Right, ok, so are we all set with the first setup?”
    Dave put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched and stepped back.
    “Stephanie, lighten up. I had a good time. Maybe after the shoot we
could…”
    “Look, Dave, no offense, I’d just rather focus on the shoot. I’m not
that person anymore, ok?”
    “Yeah, obviously. That girl I met at the bar was a lot more fun.”
    With that he turned back to his camera and barked out orders to one of
his assistants. There was nothing I could do. I’d brought this on myself and
now, my whole plan of starting over was looking like it was all going to come
crumbling down around me. It was all I could do not to walk out of there, find
something to down, come back in and screw Dave’s brains out just to prove to
him that