piece of string?â he says.
âTom!â
I say, plaintively.
âHow long will the gîte thing take?â he says. âHow long a mission will I get offered? It all depends, doesnât it? How should I know?â
I cough and stand, and start to move towards the kitchen, and then I pause and turn back. âTom,â I say, chewing the side of my mouth. âCan we turn the TV off for a minute?â
He glances up at me. âWhy?â he says.
âWe have to talk.â
He reaches for the remote and somewhat theatrically clicks off the TV. âWhatâs up?â he asks, his tone vaguely mocking.
I move back to the sofa and sit sideways, half facing him. âIâm a bit surprised,â I say. âI mean, that youâre thinking about going back already. We havenât discussed this
at all.â
Tom shakes his head and sighs. âI knew you were going to have an argument with me today,â he says. âItâs been brewing all day.â
I frown. âI havenât
been
here all day,â I protest. But I wonder all the same if itâs true, if he isnât somehow right. It
could
be my hangover making me play up, but then itâs hard to tell. When your perception gets skewered by drugs youâre always the last to know.
âWhatever,â Tom says, before continuing in acalmer tone of voice. âWhat I mean is, we can
argue
about this, or â¦
not
. But I canât really see any point in me staying here if thereâs no gîte project happening, can you?â
âIâm not sure really,â I say, trying to work out my thoughts, and trying to keep an eye on them for wanton negativity at the same time. âI mean, I suppose I just thought that this was
where we lived
now.â
Tom frowns at me so I continue, âI thought the gîte was about us being together, not the other way around. I didnât realise we were together just so we could do the gîte.â
Tom tuts, and turns towards me and takes my hand. âHey,â he says. âDonât make this about
us
. I just think itâs a good idea for me to go and earn some money,â he says. âYou can see the sense in that, surely?â
I nod. âYeah,â I say vaguely. âI mean, I know that makes sense; I know thereâs a certain logic to itâ¦â
âSo?â Tom asks.
âWell, I donât know,â I say. âI mean, I understand the need for change, but if you need more nightlife, well, thatâs fixable
here
. This is
where we live
. Or itâs supposed to be. And weâre not exactly broke, not with my dole and yourâ¦â
âWell, this is
where we live
because weâre buying a gîte,â Tom says.
I nod. âSo what happens if it falls through then?â
âWhat, the whole thing? Completely?â
âYeah,â I say. âWhat happens if, say, Chantal
canât
sell us the gîte? If the whole project crashes and burns.â
Tom shrugs. âWe look for another property?â He says this in a tone of voice that implies that the answer is obvious.
I nod. âOK, but
who
does? Will
you
be here to do that?â
Tom shakes his head. âHell Mark, Idonât know. I suppose you could look and then we could make the final choice together.â
I nod.
âI donât really see what the probâ¦â
âThe problem
is â¦
â I interrupt quietly, still working it out, âthat unless thereâs a gîte, we arenât together.â
Tom frowns, first nods, and then shakes his head. âAnd?â he says.
âSo youâre being here wouldnât seem to be about me really, or
us
, but about the gîte.â
Tom laughs sourly.
âWhat?â I ask genuinely confused.
âWhy does everything have to be about
you?â
He shakes his head apparently in dismay.
I sigh. I grind my teeth a little, and then when Iâm sure I can keep
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