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York. I didn’t have to tell him why.
    “Most of it was great, but part…can you talk for a few minutes?”
    “Sure. I just left work.”
    I tell him about the situation. When I finish, I know I sound hurt and confused. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and I hear his seat belt beeping a warning.
    “That throws a monkey wrench into things,” he says.
    “No kidding.”
    He hesitates. “How do you feel about him, Sage? I mean, really. Would you go to the mat for him? Would he do the same for you?”
    I reach to my shoulder where the tattoo is healing, a gauze pad taped over it for protection. I don’t hesitate. “I’d do anything for him, and he’d do the same for me.”
    He sighs. “I’m not going to lie to you. A child changes everything. Suddenly you have a little life depending on you, and the decisions you make don’t only affect you.” He sounds sad, remorseful. We both know he’s thinking of his own choices. “A decent man steps up and takes responsibility for what he’s done. It sounds like Derek’s a decent man. I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you’re going to be with him, you need to get used to the idea that it’s not just the two of you anymore – it’s the two of you…and his son.”
    “But we’re just starting out…”
    “I know, but honey, trust me. You don’t want the kind of man that would walk away from this. Sounds like he’s not happy about it, and it was unplanned, but he’s wrapping his head around doing the right thing. If you care about him, you need to help him be that good man. He needs support and it’s going to be hard at times. You’re going to resent that you’ve got his son in your life, and that it’s not just you and Derek. That’s natural, but you need to rein it in and let him do what he needs to do.”
    Crap.
    This discussion’s not helping. I want him to say it’s her problem, not his, that a few minutes of unthinking pleasure shouldn’t change your whole life. In other words, I want him to tell me it’s okay for Derek to be irresponsible and turn his back on his child. I feel lower than dirt for thinking it, but I can’t help it.
    “So you’d tell him you were fine with it?” I whisper.
    “No, I’d show him. I’d help him cope. That is, if I wanted to make that my life, too. Sage, I know you’ve been through a lot, and you’ve probably seen things living on the streets that most people never do, but – and I say this with love and all due respect – you’re both really young. You’re just getting started in life. There’s going to be a lot he needs to figure out, and you can either be there to help, or let him work it out on his own. You need to think things through and decide whether you’re really prepared to invite a child who isn’t your own into your life. Because that’s what it’ll come down to. And you have to know the answer before the question comes up.” He hesitates. “Don’t rush into anything, Sage. Think it through. This is for keeps.”
    I’m quiet, his words ringing in my ear as I nod. “Thanks, Dad. I…you’re right that I don’t want to hear this. But you’re also right I need to.”
    “Just take your time, honey. Give yourself enough space to figure out what it is you really want. Forever is a long time, and whatever you do, Derek’s going to have that son forever. Question’s whether you want to sign up for the long haul.” He pauses. “And if you can get used to the idea, that means the mother’s going to be in your life to some extent, too. You need to think about whether you can handle that as well.”
    When I hang up, my head is spinning. It all feels overwhelming. I rise, go to the kitchen, and stop in front of the refrigerator.
    If I’m this off-balance, how must Derek be doing? I’ve been so wrapped up with the ramifications to my world, I haven’t devoted a lot of thought to his, beyond wishing Lisa into nonexistence.
    As I stand there, frozen in place, the weight