Read Bent Not Broken (A Cedar Creek #1) for Free Online

happy and warm, but my panic had overshadowed all that, had made me ignore those feelings. Like I said, I had picked Grant because I knew there would never be a chance of falling in love with him. And I wasn’t in love with him. That wasn’t a lie. Still, hearing another person say they loved me did penetrate on some level and made me wish I could be different, made me long for a connection with a man that went deeper than just satisfying a physical need. You are what you make yourself to be. My nana’s words sounded again in my ears. I missed me. Missed that part of me that wasn’t always guarded, that loved meeting new people, that laughed all the time, that could be almost carefree. The girl I had been when I had left home, finally free to be myself. Before he had shattered me. I missed her. After, I had always told myself that she had been too naive, too trusting. That’s why bad things had happened to her, because she hadn’t been cautious enough, hadn’t questioned anything, had taken everything at face value. Stupid. So I had built walls around her, walls so high even I couldn’t climb them, had locked her away like Rapunzel, never to be a part of my life again. But she was still there. Still a part of me, locked up deep inside me. And she was looking for a way out.
    You are what you make yourself to be .
    I had a decision to make. Keep living this half-life, content, but lonely, keep everything locked up inside, knowing that eventually it might win the fight and eat me alive, but hoping it wouldn’t. Or, open up and talk to Macy about my past, be honest and let her help me deal with it as much as I am capable of and hope that that would free some of the old me.
    I had a decision to make. So I made it.
    No matter how much it scared me, I was going to tell Macy everything. Then I was going to explain to her about Cal and why I couldn’t go there with him. That was a step I wasn’t ready for, wasn’t sure I would ever be ready for. I would open up to my best friend, but opening up to a man, to Cal, was a completely different story. It wouldn’t be easy and it scared the shit out of me, but making that decision funnily enough also gave me some sense of relief.
    I would also take Betty’s advice and try to turn on the light. Consciously leaving my armor at home made me nervous, but according to her I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding behind my mask anyway.
    I would try my best.
    I had to come out of hiding and finally be myself again as much as I was capable of.
    Pearl Jam had stopped playing a while ago. The water had run cold and I was a prune. Time to get out of the bathtub. One last beer on my front porch that overlooked the town and I would go to bed.
    Good plan.
    Great night.
    Got my head together. Now it was time to let go and think about nothing, while watching the lights of Cedar Creek sparkle in the night, and find some peace.
    Little did I know that when I got out to my porch to do exactly that, a few hundred meters away someone was watching me doing exactly that, quietly contemplating what to do about me.

Cal
    Cal was watching Ivey sitting on her front porch staring out at the town, sipping her beer. She shouldn’t be sitting outside in the dark all the way up here by herself. She didn’t even have a dog that would warn her if danger was close. Wasn’t she scared? She definitely needed someone to take care of her.
    Someone good.
    Someone strong.
    Someone loyal.
    Someone without baggage.
    He had thought that was not him. But after laying out Ivey, Betty had continued with him.
    He had seen her around town.
    Oh, had he ever.
    He had heard the men talk about her. At the bar, in the locker room of his local gym. Greatest ass in town , sweetest woman they had ever met, and those legs…
    He had heard it all. And he agreed with all of it.
    But every man in town got shot down. Everyone knew that she didn’t shit where she slept. Smart move. He lived by the same principle. Shocking that their