Read Believe Like a Child for Free Online

startled and scared. Why would Carl do this to her? She had told him firmly that she didn’t want to. She tried to push him off her, but Carl pinned her arms above her head and his strong thighs held her legs in place, as he thrust into her over and over again until he was satisfied.
    When it was over, he came to his senses and realized what he had done. “Oh my God, Alessa!” he exclaimed remorsefully. “I am so sorry. I was just so excited I couldn’t stop myself. Please don’t hate me. Please…”
    Although the experience wasn’t foreign to her, Alessa was surprised by what had just happened. Catching her breath, she said, “It’s okay, Carl. I just can’t let myself get pregnant.”
    Just then, a thought struck her. Her gut began to twist and her lungs felt so constricted it was hard to take a breath. If Carl could get her pregnant, so could her Uncle Danny! Alessa began to heave, as her stomach gave way to fear and anxiety. She would rather die, if her disgusting uncle made her pregnant! Her Uncle Danny, the pig of all pigs, scum of the earth.
    Confused, Carl didn’t know how to deal with the situation. He supported Alessa by the shoulders, until she had finished wretching. Then dressing quickly, he helped her to put her clothes on and guided her gently out of the woods and back to the Rope. Alessa looked over at the others, boys and girls laughing and yelling, a bunch of teenagers having fun, and realized, once again, how different she was. There was no doubt in her mind that she was damaged goods, scarred forever by her childhood. She would never be like the others. She wondered if she could ever enjoy peace of mind, having experienced nothing, but turmoil for seven long years from the time her uncle had chosen her as his sex toy. And as she watched her peers, drunk and a bit out of control, she wondered if she would ever feel as happy and carefree as they did.
    Deep down, Alessa was aware that no normal girl her age would have reacted the way she had. She had actually assured Carl it was okay that he had forced himself on her. She knew her response was perverse. But so inprisioned had she become by now to sexual abuse, it didn’t elicit the response it would have from a normal teenage girl emerging from a forced sexual encounter. Alessa knew how fucked up she was for being less upset about being violated than about getting pregnant. She felt like a mutant.
    When Rhonda saw how pale her friend was, she ran over to her and had her sit on one of the logs. Denise, the bully, was staring at Alessa, a nasty smile playing on her lips. Alessa caught her eye and thought to herself, “Please God, not tonight. Do not let Denise beat my fucking ass tonight.”
    Carl read the fear in her eyes and followed her gaze. Then he caught the malicious look in Denise’s eyes. Stepping in front of Alessa, he blocked her view. Whispering to Rhonda that it was time for them to leave, he helped Alessa to her feet and walked her out of the Rope. Although there was silence between them, Rhonda guessed something had gone terribly wrong. But she kept her questions to herself, waiting to ask them when she was alone with Alessa.
    Rhonda detected that Carl was being unusually attentive to her friend and figured they had had a fight earlier. Or perhaps, Alessa had found out that he was getting blow jobs from some of the other girls at school. She had no idea, of course, that he had been cheating. Technically speaking, they weren’t in an exclusive relationship; nor had they said as much to each other.
    When the three of them reached Alessa’s house, Carl turned to her and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he asked.
    “Yeah, fine,” she answered.
    Once he had left, Rhonda asked, “How about if I sleep over at your house tonight? Do you think your mom would mind?”
    Comforted by the thought of her friend staying with her, Alessa replied, “I’m sure she wouldn’t. Let’s go and ask her.”
    Rhonda