Yet a new tension arose between us born of hurtful words, sexual need, and the revelations of the love we’d both admitted to.
I guess Zolt felt it too because as I toweled off, he pulled me to him and kissed me. At first, I resisted, but then I gave into him, kissing him back.
When we broke the kiss, we were both breathless.
“I love you, Irelyn,” he said, his crystalline-blues warm with the same emotion.
“I love you, Zolt.” I snuggled into his arms, letting go of the unspoken tension. Being held by him began a healing deep inside.
“I had your maid Anna pack a suitcase for you when I went to get Rufus. Hannah made space for them in my closet.”
“I guess that explains how my robe is here. So, they’re in your room?”
“I want you back in my bed, Irelyn. I’m sorry if that’s presumptuous of me, but I’m hoping you want the same thing. When you’re there, I don’t have nightmares, and I miss sleeping next to you.”
“I do want that. But to be honest, I’m kind of messed up, Zolt. Mentally, I’m back to where I was right after Chris died, when I couldn’t sleep for weeks without having night terrors.”
Zolt’s face fell and his eyes turned glacial. “What did Marcus do to you?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Can we eat?”
Zolt squeezed his eyes closed then opened them. He lifted my chin. “All right. But do me a favor?”
“Okay.”
“If you won’t talk to me, talk to Brody. The one thing I’ve finally figured out through all this is denial makes it much worse. It only took six years and the woman I loved walking out on me, but I’m there.”
“I had no intentions of staying away, but he stopped me.” Tears welled in my eyes, and I blinked them away. If I let the tears fall, they’d flow forever.
“I know,” Zolt said, kissing my forehead.
“Can we eat now? I’m starving.” I repeated, needing to change the subject even though I wanted to say ‘no, you don’t know’. How could he? Removed from the situation, I could admit Marcus’s attempts to mind-fuck me had worked. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw those horrible images he’d plastered on the walls. Like that, I returned to finding my brother lying in a pool of his own blood with his face bashed in.
“You’re shaking.” Zolt wrapped his arms around me. “What’s going on, Irelyn?”
I closed my eyes as I backed away from him. “Nothing. Just hungry.”
Zolt frowned and cupped my face with his large hands. “You’re lying, but I’ll let it go.”
“Thank you.” I leaned into his touch, wishing he had the power to chase the images away. But not even Zolt’s touch and our electric current had that kind of power.
We spent the rest of the day watching movies and cuddling on the couch. Zolt was great, letting me watch sappy, romantic comedies without complaining. The pain in my back had lessened, and I refrained from taking the pain meds.
Rachel and Cory came over for dinner. They did their best to be upbeat, but a cloud of unease hung over us all. T-bone and Sloan had failed to recover Kenna. When they got to the house, Marcus had abandoned it; I’m guessing they missed her by mere minutes. We tried to stay positive, but every day Kenna stayed with Marcus, the less chance we had of recovering her. And before long, Cory’s father Peter would decide to involve the authorities. But T-bone still had Jackson on the inside, and they were already working on a new plan. The details were all very technical, and quite frankly, made my eyes glass over.
My guilt over leaving Kenna and Delaney grew worse the longer they remained captive. The list of things I didn’t want to deal with was festering inside me, leaving a lingering, bad taste in my mouth—one born of guilt, impotence, and sadness. I wanted to escape but didn’t know how, so I stuffed my feelings deep inside, knowing they’d burst out in a massive explosion sooner or later.
When I could no longer keep my eyes open, I
I guess Zolt felt it too because as I toweled off, he pulled me to him and kissed me. At first, I resisted, but then I gave into him, kissing him back.
When we broke the kiss, we were both breathless.
“I love you, Irelyn,” he said, his crystalline-blues warm with the same emotion.
“I love you, Zolt.” I snuggled into his arms, letting go of the unspoken tension. Being held by him began a healing deep inside.
“I had your maid Anna pack a suitcase for you when I went to get Rufus. Hannah made space for them in my closet.”
“I guess that explains how my robe is here. So, they’re in your room?”
“I want you back in my bed, Irelyn. I’m sorry if that’s presumptuous of me, but I’m hoping you want the same thing. When you’re there, I don’t have nightmares, and I miss sleeping next to you.”
“I do want that. But to be honest, I’m kind of messed up, Zolt. Mentally, I’m back to where I was right after Chris died, when I couldn’t sleep for weeks without having night terrors.”
Zolt’s face fell and his eyes turned glacial. “What did Marcus do to you?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Can we eat?”
Zolt squeezed his eyes closed then opened them. He lifted my chin. “All right. But do me a favor?”
“Okay.”
“If you won’t talk to me, talk to Brody. The one thing I’ve finally figured out through all this is denial makes it much worse. It only took six years and the woman I loved walking out on me, but I’m there.”
“I had no intentions of staying away, but he stopped me.” Tears welled in my eyes, and I blinked them away. If I let the tears fall, they’d flow forever.
“I know,” Zolt said, kissing my forehead.
“Can we eat now? I’m starving.” I repeated, needing to change the subject even though I wanted to say ‘no, you don’t know’. How could he? Removed from the situation, I could admit Marcus’s attempts to mind-fuck me had worked. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw those horrible images he’d plastered on the walls. Like that, I returned to finding my brother lying in a pool of his own blood with his face bashed in.
“You’re shaking.” Zolt wrapped his arms around me. “What’s going on, Irelyn?”
I closed my eyes as I backed away from him. “Nothing. Just hungry.”
Zolt frowned and cupped my face with his large hands. “You’re lying, but I’ll let it go.”
“Thank you.” I leaned into his touch, wishing he had the power to chase the images away. But not even Zolt’s touch and our electric current had that kind of power.
We spent the rest of the day watching movies and cuddling on the couch. Zolt was great, letting me watch sappy, romantic comedies without complaining. The pain in my back had lessened, and I refrained from taking the pain meds.
Rachel and Cory came over for dinner. They did their best to be upbeat, but a cloud of unease hung over us all. T-bone and Sloan had failed to recover Kenna. When they got to the house, Marcus had abandoned it; I’m guessing they missed her by mere minutes. We tried to stay positive, but every day Kenna stayed with Marcus, the less chance we had of recovering her. And before long, Cory’s father Peter would decide to involve the authorities. But T-bone still had Jackson on the inside, and they were already working on a new plan. The details were all very technical, and quite frankly, made my eyes glass over.
My guilt over leaving Kenna and Delaney grew worse the longer they remained captive. The list of things I didn’t want to deal with was festering inside me, leaving a lingering, bad taste in my mouth—one born of guilt, impotence, and sadness. I wanted to escape but didn’t know how, so I stuffed my feelings deep inside, knowing they’d burst out in a massive explosion sooner or later.
When I could no longer keep my eyes open, I
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