Read Before I Break for Free Online

as one lies with a woman; it is an abomination.” That is a pretty clear statement, especially the verse not too far after that says gay men should be stoned. So why on earth did I feel so terrible about the way I had acted?
    I don’t really know how long I drove around, but by the time I got home, it was nearly 11 o’clock. When I walked in the front door, I found Jake sitting on the couch still, except this time he was awake. His eyes fell on mine when I walked in, but he didn’t say a word.
    Sitting down beside him, I said, “How was your power nap?”
    He smiled a little and said, “Man, I was really out of it. Sometimes that stuff really gets to me.” He had the box of Cheez-Its still on the coffee table and he picked them up. “So your mom said you went out with some new guy?”
    I nodded. “That new kid, Avery Branson. You may or may not have seen him around. He doesn’t have many classes with me.”
    Jake didn’t seem to know who I was talking about. “Well, don’t go replacing me with someone else, dude. You’re my best friend.” He took a handful of Cheez-Its and shoved them in his mouth. “So what’d you guys do?”
    I really wanted to spill the beans about what had really happened, but while he was my best friend, I knew he’d try to make jokes about it and I was so not in the joking mood. “I just kind of showed him around, you know? Nothing major.” I wanted to laugh at the thought. If only that was what happened, then I wouldn’t be feeling so sick to my stomach.
    I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and mom appeared in the living room threshold. “Cyril, what are you doing back so late? I was worried sick.”
    Great, now my mother was going to hop on the case. What was she going to do next, call a jury? “Don’t worry, mom, I’m fine. Avery and I just kind of had a dispute.” I grabbed the box of Cheez-Its and headed to the kitchen when my mom followed me, leaving Jake in the living room. I put the box back and mom stood there with her arms crossed over her chest. Acting nonchalant was going to be the best way to get through this. “What?” I asked.
    “You had a dispute with someone you just met?” she asked me, not sounding entirely sure. “What exactly could you fight with someone about on the second day you met them?”
    I knew she wasn’t going to get off my back unless I told her the truth. Reaching into the refrigerator, I pulled out a can of Coke and popped it open. “He’s gay.” The words came out so easily with so little conviction because the best way to approach this was to let her know this wasn’t bothering me. There was a strong pang in my chest, and if I felt it again, I thought I was going to cry.
    What the hell was wrong with me?
    “He’s gay?” my mom asked. “But—”
    “Yeah, mom, I know. I ended the friendship tonight. He wasn’t really important.” The lie rang around in my head and I wondered what he really was to me. Not anything after what happened tonight, I could tell you that. “I need to go to sleep, mom, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I headed upstairs into my room, hoping to avoid any more of that conversation with her. When I got to my room, I pulled out my phone and texted Avery, saying,

    As I lay in my bed, I couldn’t help but replay the entire last two days like a movie. How had I suddenly got pulled into this? And why did I care so much as to even be questioning right now? Two days ago, if it were about Christian, I would have told this kid to go do a sexual act on himself, using the explicit term instead. Now I felt terrible for calling this guy a faggot and had no idea why. Why was there a sudden change in heart?
    When Avery didn’t text me back, I headed to my computer to send him a Facebook message. A few girls had Instant Messaged me from my post earlier, including those dirty pictures I had asked for, but shockingly I didn’t care. As I typed in Avery’s name in the search engine, he wasn’t coming up. I went to