Read Because You Exist for Free Online

to ten.
    One.
    Two.
    Three.
    Four.
    Why does she have to be such a bit...
    She lifted a book from the cart, but I grabbed it out of her hand. “Enough.”
    Carrie snatched the book back from me, and pushed the cart into my stomach. The smile she wore only moments before fell. She glared at me. “You’re right. Enough. You want to talk about this now? How about when you saw me in the hallway? Didn’t seem like you wanted to talk then.”
    “I know you’re not down with social norms, but that wouldn’t have been the ideal place to discuss the end of times,” I said, my voice rising. I kept waiting for someone to ssshh us like in the movies, but no one did. But then again, who spent their Saturday afternoon in the library? Especially in the...Human Growth and Sexuality Section.
    Oh God.
    “Right. Don’t want any of your posse to see you talking with someone like me. That’s it. Right? How self-centered can you be? I mean self-actualized. Sure. Great. But when you’re so wrapped up in yourself you can’t see a crap storm on the horizon, then we have some issues. I mean do we only talk about the end of the world when it’s good for you?”
    “Ugh. God. I didn’t say that. I’m just saying that wasn’t particularly the best time. I had other obligations.”
    Other obligations?
    Excuse me world. You will all perish because I have other obligations to attend to.
    “Sorry, dumbass, but I don’t think the apocalypse can be put on hold so you can screw your girlfriend.”
    “I just...I just needed some time to process,” I stammered.
    “No. You needed some time to pork your girlfriend’s brains out. Now go home. Or at least get the hell out of my way. I need to keep my job.”
    She gave the cart another shove, but I was quick enough to brace my foot against it. “You have no idea how I spent my night, or any of my nights for that matter. And what I do or do not do with my girlfriend is none of your concern. In fact, I’m starting to wonder why you care so much about her in the first place?”
    Carrie rolled her eyes. “Great. So, now I’m a lesbian. You’re pathetic. I only know because you and your bonehead friends have talked about this weekend every day for the past week in math class.”
    She was in my math class?
    I had to admit she was right. I loved Jenna. I really did.  And even though I considered myself a great deal more mature than most of my friends, it didn’t mean I was above bragging.
    Carrie didn’t wait for a response, shoving an earplug back into her ear. I reached up to pull it out, and she froze. Right. She didn’t like to be touched. I held my hands up in a mock surrender. With a heavy sigh, Carrie pulled out the earplug.
    “Listen, I’m not asking you to like me. I’m asking for your help. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings yesterday. I’m not proud of it. I just needed one more day to pretend that everything could be okay. One more day to pretend the things I saw weren’t possible. I have no idea what happened to us, or what it meant, but I need your help.”
    Carrie looked away. She tugged on the drawstrings of her hoodie. She didn’t want to help me, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t.
    “Please,” I asked again, my voice cracking. “This is bigger than you and me. This is about saving the people we love.”
    Did she love anyone or anything?
    Carrie stared at me for a long time, and I thought I was going to have to walk away with silence as her final retort, but then something in her expression changed. She didn’t look angry anymore, only resigned.
    “Do you even know my real name?” she asked.
    It was a simple question, but somehow it carried with it my past, my present, and my future.
    “No. I don’t. I only know the nickname.”
    “The nickname you gave me,” she charged.
    I nodded, finding it difficult to meet her eyes.
    “Follow me,” she said, pulling her hood back over her head with a resolute tug.
    I followed her into the break room. I stood