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and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection
between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”
    Jefferson continued. “The king will have to connect the dots. Deliver it to old fatso in London and tell him we mean business.”
    “But,” said Sir Duncan, “this could mean war.”
    Jefferson replied, “I didn’t write this for my health.”

Things in My Attic
    ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES on Martha’s Vineyard is the flea market, where people bring things from their attics of great value—or little value—whichever comes first.
    My dream is to find a valuable painting that the owner doesn’t know is priceless.
    This week I went to the flea market with my hopes high. I passed up a teakettle from 1942, a Barbie doll with one arm, a torn quilt with the words “God Bless Our Home,” a bluefish mounted on a plaque that said, “Caught by Gerry Hawke in 1971,” a pair of used sneakers, the flat back tire of a bicycle and a copy of Boys’ Life .
    Of course there were other bargains, but my eye was still looking
for a priceless painting—a Gauguin, a van Gogh, or an early Picasso (which I always considered to be the time of his best work).
    I was going through a stack of old Coca-Cola posters at one of the booths when suddenly I saw an oil painting that looked familiar. It was a Leonardo da Vinci picture of angels having a picnic. I knew the only other one was in the Vatican. Obviously, it had dust on it, and when I wiped it off with my sleeve, it looked as if Leonardo had painted it yesterday.
    I pretended I wasn’t interested. This always works at the flea market because the people there like to haggle.
    “That’s a nice collection of Coca-Cola posters,” I said.
    “My grandson found them in the back of the attic in a trunk that Grandma kept.”
    “What is this ratty painting with saints all over it?”
    “I don’t know. It was in the attic with all my Coca-Cola posters, and I figured some sucker would go for it.”
    “Out of curiosity, how much are you asking for it?”
    “I don’t know, maybe $50.”
    I looked it over carefully. “I don’t know. It’s not even signed.” “I would charge a hundred if it was signed,” he said.
    “I’ll give you thirty-five,” I said.
    “Make it forty-five and I’ll throw in a poster of the Three Stooges.”
    He was getting desperate. I said, “Forty-five and also a poster of Marilyn Monroe with her skirt flying up over the subway vent.”
    He said, “That’s my best poster.”
    I started to walk away. He said, “Wait, I’m reconsidering. If you want that lousy painting it’s yours for $42.50.”
    I had him wrap it up for me. Once I locked in the deal for the Leonardo I started wandering around the flea market.

    I bought a television set that was made in 1959, a twenty-four-piece set of dinnerware that had only four plates left, a silver flask with “Vancouver 1990” engraved on it and a pillow that said, “Love Me, Love My Dog.” And to top it off, I had my blood pressure taken by an American Red Cross volunteer.
    It was one of the most successful trips to the flea market I ever had. I couldn’t wait to get to New York and show Sotheby’s what I had bought.

Another Icon
    ANOTHER AMERICAN ICON has landed on its keister. The banks are accused of being in on the Enron swindle. They made it possible for the company to fix its books so that loans could be listed as profits and profits could be listed as loans.
    I didn’t understand