at my digital clock, which reads 2:41. âI gotta go, Ter.â He stands up and makes for my door. I havenât finished my cigarette yet.
He opens the door and Elys is standing right there. I whip the smoke behind my back, but Iâm choking so hard trying to hold in the smoke that I start coughing and it blows out my mouth and my nose at the same time.
Elys is laughing.
âGotta go, Ter,â Rico mutters and runs past Elys. Sheâs seen me with the smoke already, not to mention the dirty magazine on my lap.
âWell, well, well,â Elys says. She walks in and takes the magazine from my lap. She lifts it up and lets the centerfold fall loose. âHello, Miss March. Why, Miss March, what nice tan lines you have.â She turns it toward me and points at the picture. âGet a load of this.â As if I could do anything but stare at Miss March when sheâs four inches in front of my face.
âAirbrush city,â says Elys. I take another puff from the cigarette. She takes it out of my hand and walks to the bathroom with it. 1 hear the toilet flush. While sheâs in there, I stuff the magazines back in the garbage bag and hustle them under my mattress. She comes back in, scans the room and then sits beside me on the bed.
âYou get away with this once,â she says. âOnce, okay? I catch you smoking ever again, I rat to your mom. And Iâll tell her about the girlie magazines.â She pokes the mattress beside her to let me know sheâs on to me. She has my number big time. Man, oh, man. She puts her arms around my shoulders. I wish like hell Iâd stayed in the park this morning.
âI understand about you wanting to look at naked women, but I wish you would wait until you can see real ones.â
What is she talking about?
âI can see real ones?â I sputter. Elys guffaws in that smug, know-it-all way of hers.
âYeah. In your future. Those magazine women arenât real. I mean, theyâre real, butâ¦â Iâm not getting her. They sure look real to me. Real naked. All smooth, tall and tanned with long hair and big lips. They look like real good women to me.
âI mean,â Elys says more firmly now, âyou shouldnât be able to buy women the way you buy â I donât know â ketchup. You donât buy women off the magazine rack. Besides, those magazines are false advertising. Youâll never date a woman who looks like that.â
Now Iâm insulted.
âHow do you know?â I say.
âAny woman good enough to date you is going to be way more beautiful than any of those Playboy bunnies and youâll know it whether your eyes are open or closed.â
I roll my eyes. Elys whips her arm off my shoulder, pulls the mattress up and gets the garbage bag. She pulls the magazines out and opens them.
âThey are bottles of ketchup. They are commodities. How would you like to get paid for taking your clothes off? How would that make you feel about yourself? What if you werenât goodlooking enough to take your clothes off for money? How would you like to be treated like you were only valuable because of what you looked like? Because you were a certain height, or a certainweight, or your eyes were a certain color?â
I think about Moranâs airborne midgets and the Midget Employment Stabilization Board. Then I think âNaked Women Employment Stabilization Board,â and how there is way more employment for naked women than there is for midgets. I mean, small people.
âItâs not funny to be funny looking,â I say, remembering Lucyâs words. Elys looks at me like Iâm whacko. I donât think Iâve ever seen her so angry She doesnât seem angry at me. Itâs the magazines she is angry aboutâthose naked women and a world full of Morans.
7
Mom and Farley are supposed to be going away this weekend. I have to play goody-good little good boy for Farley