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the mechanised bedpans got dented and destroyed. Hearing
the appalling noise, the Gooseeater guards had finally been roused
to action. They stormed the passageway, using their large, spiky
pikes to stab at the encroaching devices. Leep's bedpan battlers
advanced, clashing with the throng of china sentinels and
guards.
    In the fracas
a few of the dolls chased Vitriolica's mother and hapless assistant
Lord Saveloy to a high turret, where they were locked away, never
to be seen again.
    The battle
became even fiercer, the savage dolls destroying bedpan after
bedpan, while the chomping mechanical pans wrenched off arms, legs
and heads from the wretched attackers, causing widespread
destruction. Orla, the queen's maid in waiting, stuck her head out
of the door to see how things were going. In the heat of the
action, it looked as if things were fairly evenly balanced.
    "My lady! I
fear that we require some back up, quickly!"
    The queen
looked around, and remembered her prized possession, the sinister
clockwork robot that she had created to destroy her father. She
found the ornate key that powered it, wound it up as far as it
would go, and then released it into the pandemonium.
    "Make them
pay, my beauty! Make them pay!" she roared at the top of her
voice.
    The large
automaton spun and whirred into the thick of the battle, sending
springs and sections of bedpans twirling apart every which way. The
grinding crunch of the spinning saw gouged into the copper
chamberpots, repelling the oncoming troops and staving off the
attack. Finally, the last of Leep's pre-programmed malignant
bedpans lay motionless, one solitary wheel spinning out of
control.
    The attackers
were defeated and the rebellion had been quelled. Lord Snydey of
the Ghiws was restored as prime minister, for the time being, at
least and Leep withdrew to the shadows to make further plans. He
took out his aggression on the many servants that he maintained,
orphans taken in from the street to serve him and do his bidding,
which he claimed was an act of charity. What a nice man, when all's
said and done. The queen maintained her position too, quite
rightly, and became even more unbending in her iron will.

    - § - § - § - § - §
-

    In 1840 there
was a royal wedding, and everybody across the country cheered, as
well as a few impertinent folk who also leered, but you always get
that at those sort of occasions. It was an eminently enjoyable
event for most; the Leepers made certain of that. If you weren't
cheering, you'd be beaten with one of their retractable
truncheonsticks.
    The archbishop
of the time, Milliaw Yowley, had written many treatises on
etiquette and manners, which he imbued on Queen Vitriolica, and she
herself enforced them on her people, with a little help from her
new husband, Prince Trebla. It was slightly strange, as if you
looked closely, some might say that Trebla's eyes were made of
nothing but cold glass, and his skin had a soft, metallic sheen to
it, but it was probably nothing.
    Everyone had
gone chamber potty, and there was more mechanical madness yet to
come...

    ~ ~ ~

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lived on the 2672nd floor of his mega towerblock complex in Tokyo
6. ______________________________________