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you won’t be able to. He’ll show you that you can take so much more than you think. He’ll make you take it, Sarah. No matter how many times you give up or beg or resist, he’ll make you take it.’
    â€˜But I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so, so sorry. It can’t be that harsh. I won’t make it. I won’t be able to. It’ll be like last year. I don’t want to fail again. I don’t want to disappoint you again. Please, don’t make it so bad. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise. I really do.’
    â€˜Take off your skirt, Sarah, and pull down your panties. It’s time for your spanking.’
    â€˜But please, Alex. I was so happy to see you. Let’s make it a happy day. Let’s not ruin it.’
    â€˜I’m not ruining it, Sarah. I’m saving it. I’m saving it from what you did last year.’
    â€˜But why would I come back if it was going to hurt so much? I don’t get it, Alex. Why?’
    â€˜I don’t know, Sarah. It’s your character. You tell me.’
    â€˜She wants to close that chapter. She wants to put the unfinished business behind her. But why does he need to beat her for it? Why can’t he just understand how hard it is for her?’
    â€˜I think she needs more than understanding. If understanding were all she needed, she wouldn’t be here. You need to be more honest about these things, Sarah. Your case for leniency is unconvincing. In fact, I’m not sure you know your character at all.’
    â€˜But I do. I know she doesn’t want to get the spanking you described. It’s more than anyone could want.’
    â€˜That’s bullshit, Sarah. She’s fantasized about this spanking her whole life. You’re just too scared to go that deep inside her. You’re too cowardly to find out what it’s like.’
    His words stung. They hit home with Sarah – she had been called too scared before – and she did the only thing she knew to prove him wrong. She took off her skirt and lowered her panties so that the elastic waistband cut into her thighs. Cowardly? Go to hell.
    â€˜I’m ready. Show me what it’s like.’
    The bravery was an act, a fuck-you to Alex’s arrogant judgment. Who was he to tell her what her problem was? He didn’t even know her.
    But he did. He was right and she had wanted this her whole life and she had run away last year because she was scared to go this deep, and the only thing left for her to do was this.
    Like fastening your seatbelt before the roller coaster ride, bending over Alex’s lap was the last act Sarah would do of her own volition. It was an irreversible commitment. She had turned a corner. She felt him grip her firmly – having obviously learned his lesson last year – and she recognized that she had passed the point of no return.
    The intellectual realization was one thing, but the physical sensation of Alex’s hand landing on her bare flesh was another. The way that patch of pale, tender skin stung changed everything. It felt as if her ass, so long the object of fantasy spankings, had come to be the center of her being. Now all she felt was the agonizing fire that raged as the spanking continued. The pain quickly made her frantic. She squirmed, wriggled and kicked, anything to slow down the rain of slaps, anything to protect the raw skin where his last slap had just landed.
    But even though she was struggling, she wasn’t trying to run away. Something about this was right. This was where she was meant to be. She wanted desperately for the pain to stop, but there was something compelling about it. It focused her completely. It was clean, like sharp glass, and cut through all the confusion that clouded her head. She could forget about all the negotiations and compromises, all the speculation and guesswork that went into human relations. Typically, the complexity of it all burdened her and took her