Read Backteria and Other Improbable Tales for Free Online Page B

there was a loud thumping in the bedroom. Professor Fritz and Willy looked at each other.
    “Not in there too!” said Willy in dismay.
    “So we’ll take a look,” said Professor Fritz.
    They ran across the living room and Professor Fritz threw open the bedroom door.
    “Oh, wow,” said Willy.
    Both the beds were rocking back and forth. The bedside tables were tapping their feet. The bureau was butting its side against the wall and the lamps were spinning like tops.
    “Boy, I really invented something this time,” said Professor Fritz.
    “You sure did,” groaned Willy.
    They both jumped back as the closet door flew open and all their suits and coats came rushing out. Trousers started cavorting around the room. Shirts and undershirts jumped from the bureau drawers and fluttered toward the window. All the clothes began to move at once, even shoes and socks.
    “My long red underwear!” cried Willy, running after them. The long red underwear danced to the window, leaped out and disappeared.
    “My slippers!” cried Professor Fritz. He and Manfred hurried after them but they darted under one of the beds and hid themselves.
    Professor Fritz grabbed a fishing pole that was passing by and felt beneath the bed for his slippers. The slippers kicked the pole away.
    “You better cut that out!” said Professor Fritz.
    Just then, the sink came running out of the bathroom spouting water from its faucets. On its back, toothpaste was squeezing from its tube like a long, white, squishy worm.
    “We’d better check the rest of the house!” cried Willy.
    They ran into the kitchen.
    “Oh, wow,” groaned Willy.
    The doors on the stove were flopping open, banging shut, flopping open, banging shut. The cupboard doors were opening and closing so fast that they made a wind.
    Suddenly, the refrigerator door flew open and food started jumping out. Oranges and apples rolled across the floor. Boxes of cheese skidded and slipped. Bottles of milk crashed down, splashing milk on everything.
    Professor Fritz began to chase a dish of cold chicken.
    “Come back here!” he ordered. “You’re my lunch!”
    “How can you worry about lunch at a time like this?” cried Willy.
    “I’m doing the best I can!” said Professor Fritz, grabbing the dish of chicken. “If things are going to run away like this, the least we can do is try to catch them!”
    Putting down the dish of chicken, he grabbed some clothesline from a shelf and lassoed the table which was trying to sneak out the door. The table whinnied like a horse and reared up on its hind legs.
    “Down, you crazy table!” cried Professor Fritz.
    “Look out!” yelled Willy.
    Professor Fritz whirled around just in time to see the stove come charging at him as fast as a locomotive. He jumped to one side and the stove went rushing past. The clothesline was torn from Professor Fritz’s hands and, together, the stove and table galloped from the house.
    “We’re free!” they cried. “We’re free!”
    “Boy, that was a close call,” said Professor Fritz, nibbling on a piece of chicken.
    Willy didn’t answer him because he was watching the knives and forks and spoons. They were hopping from their drawer and dashing out of the kitchen. The pots and pans ran after them making a lot of racket. The toaster followed, ticking like a clock.
    “Oh, wow,” groaned Willy. “What’s going to happen next?”
    All of a sudden, the window shades began unrolling. The windows started to open and close. The doors flew open and slammed shut by themselves. The walls began to tremble. The ceilings began to shake. The floors began to rock and roll.
    “I’ll tell you what’s going to happen next,” said Professor Fritz. “The house, itself, is coming to life.”
    “Oh, no!” cried Willy.
    “Oh, yes,” said Professor Fitz, “and I think we’d better skedaddle fast.”
    He started for the door and Willy hurried after him with Manfred peeking out of his pocket. They ran outside and down the path