Read Away for Free Online

to do is to talk to you for five minutes before I go to sleep, is that too much to ask?”
    “Sorry to be such a disappointment to you.”
    “I didn’t say that.”
    “You were thinking it.”
    “How do you know what I was thinking?” I say, and my voice gets louder.
    “Because I know you. And sorry Rosie, but I can’t be there 24/7 to jump whenever you want me to. I have to have time for myself.”
    “It’s always about you, Noah,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I go to work and school and still find time to see you, but it’s not like you appreciate it.”
    “Rosie, I work. Ten hour days most of the week. My job is hard. I need some time to myself,” he tells me.
    “I’m alone all of the time unless I’m with you, and you want more time for yourself? Whatever, Noah.”
    “We’ve got to find time to live our lives. Look, our relationship’s important, but we’ve got to figure out other things first.”
    “I am living my life! I’m way ahead of where you are! I’ve got college credit. What have you done for the past year?”
    “I haven’t done nothing, if that’s what you’re saying,” he says, and his words get even more rapid.
    “Right, you’re working on your grand plan,” I say. “Whenever you manage to figure that out in the next ten years call me up, will you?”
    “I’m so sick of you pressuring me into this. I know what I’m doing! How about you worry about what you’re doing before you nag me about it?” He hesitates. “Rosie, I’d do anything for you. You know that. But this emotional stuff, the ups and downs with you...this pushes me over the edge. I don’t know if I can keep up with it anymore.”
    The phone goes dead quiet. There’s a minute of nothingness before Noah breaks the silence. “Rosie, I’m sorry,” he says. “I love you.”
    My voice chokes up. Tears sprouting out my eyes, I manage to croak out, “I’m gonna go.” I hang up on him.
    The second I’m off the phone he calls me again. And again. He calls five more times in a row, but I don’t pick up. I don’t want to argue anymore. A pit of guilt is settling in my stomach as I recall the words from our argument. I think about it, and realize that I’ve been feeling horrible ever since Marcus showed up at the cookout.
    Noah’s right. Yesterday is affecting me more than I want to admit. The worst part about the whole conversation is that I didn’t get to say anything I wanted to. How I was tired from dealing with everything at work, and upset that my parents could never be here. That I loved him, and I wanted him to have a good time at Michael’s, and that I couldn’t wait to talk to him the next morning. But it came out all wrong, and there was no excuse for it.
    Noah deserves so much better than me. Someone who was going to treat him right, not take out her issues on him just because she was upset. Maybe he should find another girl...
    Well, at least for the time being, I was his girl, and I needed to make this up to him. I couldn’t call him again...maybe in an hour or so, after both of us had cooled off. But a simple apology wouldn’t do this time, not for me. I wanted to really let him know I was sorry. There were plenty of things that I could do, but none of them seemed good enough. I had no clue on how to fix it this time except keep promising him I would change, that this wouldn’t happen again. But would there be a next time after this? Or had I lost my chance?
    I don’t know. All I do know is that it’s been a horrible day and all I want to do is sleep. I walk through the den door but as I do so, I think I hear a creak in the kitchen.
    They’re home? It seems sort of early, but maybe they had called the date off early, to come see me. “Hey Mom,” I shout. “How was work? Was it busy today?”
    No answer. Turning around, I call out, “Did you hear me? I asked how was work?”
    Still no answer. The footsteps don’t head for the upstairs bedrooms, but for the living room where I am.