mounted rhinoceros head, or an elephant foot umbrella stand? Even the posed, snarling lion was passé.
When the first published photograph of the monster, taken by a man named Hugh Gray, was denounced by skeptics as being the blurred image of a swimming dog, the Colonel was so incensed he announced he was going to Scotland to prove the monsterâs existence personally.
He prevailed upon the hospitality of his second cousin, the Laird of Craig Gairbh, whose estate was near the shores of the loch, and in a matter of weeks had taken multiple photographs that showed the curved neck and head of a sea serpent emerging from the water.
The pictures were published to widespread acclaim on both sides of the Atlantic, and the Colonelâs triumphant return to the United States was marked with great fanfare. Reporters flocked to the house, stories ran in all the major newspapers, and he was generally regarded as a hero. He took to wearing estate tweeds around town, which made him instantly recognizable as the celebrity he was, and joked, in a faux British accent, that his only regret was not being able to mount the head in his trophy room, explaining that since Scotland Yard itself had requested he not harm the beast, it would have been in bad form to do so. The height of the frenzy was when he appeared in a newsreel that played before
It Happened One Night
, the biggest movie of the year.
Like Icarus, he flew too close to the sun. It wasnât long before the
Daily Mail
published an article suggesting that the size of the wake was wrong and making the scandalous accusation that the Colonel had photographed a floating model. Next came allegations of photographic trickeryâso-called experts claimed the photographs had been touched up and then rephotographed, citing slightly different angles and shadows, variations in the reflections. Because the Colonel had processed his own film, he was unable to defend himself.
The Colonel swore by the veracity of his photos and expressed outrage that his honor was being called into question precisely because heâd been honorable enough to defer to the request from Scotland Yard. If heâd just gone ahead and shot the beastâand heâd brought his elephant rifle with him for that very purposeâno one would be able to deny his claims.
The final nail in the coffin of public opinion was when Marmaduke Wetherell, a big game hunter who had been on safari with the Colonel several times, arrived at the loch with a cadre of reporters declaring that he was going to prove once and for all that the monster existed, and then promptly falsified monster tracks using an ashtraymade from the foot of a hippoâa hippo that the Colonel himself had taken down in Rhodesia.
Reporters and their impudent questions were no longer welcome. The Colonel gave up his tweeds and his accent. The sketches and newspaper clippings, so carefully glued into Moroccan leather scrapbooks, disappeared. By the time I came into Ellisâs life, the subject was taboo, and preserving the Colonelâs dignity paramount.
Of course, what was taboo to the rest of the world was anything but to our little trio, especially when the Colonel was acting particularly accusatory about Ellisâs inability to serve.
It was Hank who came up with the idea of us finding the monster ourselves. It was a brilliant mechanism for blowing off steam that allowed Ellis to poke merciless fun at the Colonel, imagine himself triumphing where his father had failed, while simultaneously proving that he was as red-blooded as any man at the Front. It was a harmless fantasy, a whimsy we trotted out and embellished regularly, usually at the end of a long night of drinking, but never within anyone elseâs earshotâat least, not before the New Yearâs Eve party.
â
Ellis swallowed loudly beside me. My mother-in-law remained frozen to her seat, her fingers and mouth still open, the crystal sherry glass in shards at