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of this profession is all the intellectual stimulation it provides. Oh yes indeed, flight attendants are permitted to engage in so many enervating conversations with passengers. They usually begin with one of the following questions:
    Will our luggage make it?
    Can you get me a pillow?
    Will I make my connection?
    Do you have raspberry kiwi iced tea?
    Is this decaf?
    Is that your natural hair color?
    Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Monica Lewinsky?
    What time is it?
    Is this your regular route?
    Can I borrow your pen?
    Can you find out the score of the game?
    Why?
    Why not?
    Where?
    When?
    Who?
    What river is that?
    Where are we?
    Can I have another bag of peanuts?
    Can I have the whole can?
    Doesn’t the air-conditioning work on this airplane?
    Is this your regular route?
    Where do you live?
    Are you married?
    Have you ever been married?
    Do you have a boyfriend?
    Have you ever had a boyfriend?
    How old are you?
    Can I have another beer?
    Where is my seat?
    Can you bring me drinking water?
    Where can I hang my wedding dress?
    So, you live in New York. . . . Why?
    What’s your rent?
    Can I use your Chapstick?
    Who is in charge here?
    Why can’t I use my cell phone?
    Can I move up to first class?
    Do you have a refrigerator?
    Is this your regular route?
    Do you have soy milk?
    Who is flying the plane?
    Can you heat this up in the microwave for me?
    Where are you staying tonight?
    Is this your regular route?
    Can you take this diaper?
    Do you have a place I can stow my cheesecake?
    As I mentioned, many times these questions can lead to in-depth conversations regarding important issues like world peace, global warming, and the economics of underdeveloped nations. They also lead to discussions about major life decisions, such as what type of light snack a passenger might enjoy on a particular day.
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Hello. Would you like the almond rocca or the brownie?
    P ASSENGER (very long pause with a blank stare): What?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Would you like the almond rocca or the brownie today?
    P ASSENGER: What?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Would you like the almond rocca or the brownie today?
    P ASSENGER: What did you say?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Would . . . you . . . like . . . the . . . almond . . . rocca . . . or . . . the . . . brownie . . . TODAY?
    P ASSENGER: Ohhhhh. . . . Well, ummm, brownie . . . I guess. . . .
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: OK, here you go. . . . Jesus Christ! (The “Jesus Christ” is whispered under the breath, of course.)
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Hello, would you like the almond rocca or the brownie, sir?
    N EXT PASSENGER: What?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Would you like the almond rocca or the brownie?
    P ASSENGER: Ummmm, what?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: You know, you could probably hear me a lot better if you took those headphones off. OK, now, would you like the almond rocca or the brownie?
    P ASSENGER: Do you have any peanuts?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: No.
    P ASSENGER: Can I get a Coke?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Yes, it’s on the beverage cart behind me, sir.
    P ASSENGER: What is that?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: It’s a cart with drinks on it.
    P ASSENGER: No, that pink thing in your hand. What is that?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: That is the almond rocca.
    P ASSENGER: I thought you said you had brownies.
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Look pal . . .
    P ASSENGER: Well, what is almond rocca anyway?
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: It is a fine butter toffee elegantly wrapped in gold foil. Now do you want one or not?
    P ASSENGER (pouting): Nah, nothing.
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Fine. Buh-bye.
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Hello, would you like the almond rocca or the brownie?
    P ASSENGER: Listen, my husband and I were separated . . .
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: Yeah, well, nothing lasts forever.
    P ASSENGER: No, I mean we were not seated together. We purchased these tickets six months ago and we were promised two seats together, and I’d like you to do something about it.
    F LIGHT ATTENDANT: There is not much I can do about it now, but after I deliver all the almond